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I appear to be nothing but the provider now and just work. Is that an accurate definition of what you are? Your life is about provision and work? Yes, they are important but hardly anything to get overly excited about. Gonna tell you about one of my regrets. don't fault myself too hard because I take responsibility seriously. I do give a rip about making sure I have stuff like good credit, a home, work hard, integrity. I need to or I don't feel good about myself, have a sense of pride about it too. but . After my divorce to my first wife and we had a similar problem though we never went to the separate bed phase it ended before that. I had the to evaluate and reflect. I have to admit, though I am a nice guy, a 'good' with a sense of adventure I wasn't really that fun. Oh once single shit I was a BLAST. Hell take away the responsibility of maintaining a marriage and the goal of providing a great retirement for two - was I a fun guy!! Drop it all on an impulse, fly off to some place because it was what I wanted. Dance like I don't care, tell people what I'm feeling, let them know I them I work hard but I also work hard on not losing that, never again. I practice it and fuse it into my life no it's not , I have shitty days but I don't let them last. It's the old saying if I would have known then what I know now? But who's to say I would have EVER known without having it all blow up? Life would have been more fun I can tell you that. There's no excuse for that and I had some hard shit come down but I still do, that never stop. Life don't work that way. So here you are trying to figure out how to change your wife and you've TALKED. Fuck it, you've talked and now why don't you start acting? Go out and seize the day. She comes along or doesn't but speak your mind. You want her to? Let her know, you want to have a good marriage? SAY IT and BE WHO YOU WOULD BE IN IT!!! Sure there might not be some fucking for a while, but you could be a loving, fun guy who scoops his wife up and says you, me, this weekend going to something she enjoys. Like you'd do if you were single. Remember that? Or bitch, moan and write a handle that says overanddone..yeah that shows a willingness to change i give up girls you lonely momsEven within a city, there are pockets of tight communities that help each other, but in places like public transit, the malls, the highways, it can be easy to forget that people can be compassionate, considerate beings. I feel particularly humbled by the small-town community. We share resources here in a way that I hadn't experienced before. We freely out our vehicles (and borrow when we need to) we share food in the, we exchange garden bounty in the. I always bake extra for my neighbours when I do bake, they usually come around with fish when they have it. I just offered to help move this elderly couple I haven't met. The parents of my neighbours gave me their contact information in case we needed a place to stay if we were stranded out of town in the. I think limited resources brings people together. If everyone out here had a 4x4 SUV, no one would borrow vehicles. If everyone had enough money to buy food regularly, no one would go out of their way to share extra when they had it. In the city I solved problems with my credit card. Out here, I someone for help. Half the time, that person I ed can't help me, but they someone they know to help (like the guy who gave me a ride out to K when she locked her keys in the car). I made a friend out here who I met because she was a single woman going through chemo and needed help. Our knitting group pitched in to take care of her. It's good to reach out. a foreign affair
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