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It's the first day since we met, that we haven't spoken. I'm so irritated and exhausted because I don't know what's happening. Mostly, though, I feel cheated and sad because this uncertainty is currently ruining something that I really FELT had the potential to go somewhere it was so natural, exciting, and the rapport was there immediately..plus two words: Insane Chemistry! It has all happened so FAST, and then took the serious turn. There's nothing to do but wait now. While I appreciate your calm, logical detachment..it also hurts my feelings a little. I'm not sure how anything is gonna pan out, but Please! don't withhold your affections from me too much. My heart is fragile but capable of tremendous tenderness..if only you prove deserving. I know I'm way too busy right now..but if things are just right, I might be willing to make some room for you.
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Distant Pennsylvania amateur sloppy head When I find my girlfriend getting stressed about the lifestyle we end up living (two PhD students don't exactly have a lot of money, and there's a lot of uncertainty about what kind of jobs we're going to get once we graduate), it's usually because I haven't been giving her enough positive attention of other kinds, haven't been drawing her to look at what we have that is wonderful. So I have to remember to focus my efforts on her directly , not indirectly. I have to stop worrying about what I do for her one day, or what kind of job I might get down the road, and just be sure to her, to ask how her day is instead of launching into how mine was, to really focus on her. I think of it as getting outside of myself, putting my energy into the world, not myself. It's amazing how doing this just an hour a day makes the relationship way more wonderful, and makes her (and me) way less stressed. It's not hard, either, it's just about really paying attention and focusing on her , not on what I am thinking. Listening. Neither one of us is really money-focused, but it's still easy to get stressed about it. Drawing strength from what we really enjoy is the quickest way to be excited with what we have and eager to do it more. It isn't about what I can promise one day. It's about what we both have right here, right now., dreams, books, ideas, friends. And being content in the moment makes things more likely to happen in the future, because most people like to be around a confident, content person and opportunities open up that way.
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