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I agree with you that it hurts to be rejected, whether it happened after one date or after months of dating or even, in some cases, months and month of dating. I think the hurt is less about the number of dates we've had with someone and more about the expectations we had about the relationship. I think the simple fact of the matter is that dating sucks. You have to have a really tough skin. You have to be ready to encounter rejection again and again. And I think it helps to be really flexible. What I mean by that statement is twofold: you have to be able to bounce back after a rejection and also, you have to be flexible in terms of what you are looking for. My own take on dating is that it is a lot like trying to find a job. It's a game and the more resumes you put out there, the more interviews you'll go on and the greater your be of landing a job. In the dating world, you put your resume out there by showing up in a setting where you might meet someone, placing an online ad, walking up to someone you think is hot and introducing yourself, etc The equivalent of an interview is, of course, the date itself. And sometimes we're all gonna have a bad date. But sometimes, we'll have a good date and he'll want us and we'll want him. Now, some people get lucky because they are exceptionally good lucking AND exceptionally good at connecting with other guys. But most of us have to work at it because we only possess one (or sometimes neither) of those traits. I know the analogy is cheesy, but I think it works. I totally know the feeling of being hit on by hot guys for sex but finding that the only ones who want me for a relationship are guys to whom I am not attracted physiy or guys whose lives are a mess. I wish I could figure that one out, but I don't know the answer. Sorry. I have a few more comments about this, but I'm reluctant to post them here on the board. If you want, feel free to contact me through the e-mail on this profile. Put RescueDogMike in the subject line so I'll know it is you. man 35 Merriam seeking femaledon't worry about making your first sexual encounter with another "easy". If it's your cup of tea, you'll figure out what to do without any guidance. You'll probably really get off on it. It's what comes afterwards that presents the real problem, after you've discovered that your real sexual interest is in men, not women, and that you want more queer sex as often as possible. What to do then? Divorce the wife and turn up at work in a pink feather boa? Or hide the truth, stay married to avoid the social stigma of being queer, and lead a sexually starved life while deceiving the woman you loved enough to? Nobody can advise you; you're the only one walking in your particular pair of shoes. But the issue bears thinking about. Easing the first time: take a thorough shower, put on deodorant, dress in clean clothes, brush your teeth. If you have a particularly luxuriant growth of pubic hair, discreet trimming be advisable, but this isn't mandatory the very first time. Buy a tube of lube and some high-quality condoms, and away you go. It's really not a big deal: millions upon millions of men have walked the same path. I would advise against using alcohol or any other intoxicant to "relax" yourself. international online dating
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