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looking for my dream guy a pothead with a job You just have a guy who doesn't do well with gifts. Gifts flummox them. They get nervous in jewelry stores. And they are god-awfully aware of the significance placed on any gift, and have this overwhelming sense that nothing they do is going to be right, anyway. Stop knocking yourself out with the gifts to him. While I'm sure he likes them, he'd also probably be happy with something simpler that you didn't spend as much effort on. Gifts are how you show your. It's not how he shows his. And that's what's really bothering you, isn't it? You equate the gifts with, and you're not "seeing the." The thing with dates and schedules that's different. That would league piss me off, for him to be that disorganized. It sounds like he's in the habit of living his own life just the way he likes, and isn't accustomed to having to take anyone -'s life into serious consideration. Buy him a big calendar for his birthday :-) Encourage him to use an on-line calendar that synchs with his phone, and map out game schedules, -'s events, vacations, etc. Frankly, if he's living in the house and being a part of these -' lives, then choosing to skip an important event is bad form. Does he include the in his sporting outings? Living as part of a couple means that you don't always get to do what you want to do when you want to do it. You shouldn't be afraid to say, "No, it's important to me that you do this with me/us." He's figuring that if it was important, you'd speak up. So speak up. You guys need to sit down with a calendar every couple of months and plot out things, with non-negotiable items highlighted in red, with "don't even THINK about asking if you can change this" status. For him, too. On a calendar, you both can how time is being allocated, and perhaps arrange it a bit more fairly. It's part of being a team. You guys aren't a team, yet you're roommates whose schedules are sometimes convenient. BTW, that thing with the rodeo was just stupid on your part. When he realized it was important to you and said that he'd come, you should have smiled and said, "Great. That's what I wanted. Thank you," instead of being pissed off that he wasn't excited about it, too. You aren't wrong. But you aren't % right, either. younger and married for older
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