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She's not who you married, but you're not who she married, either. Maybe she felt over-burdened with unrealistic goals. Maybe what she thought she wanted then is not what she really wants. Some people live to work. Some people work to live. There's a big difference. I'm just asking, are you so focused on achieving goals that you overwhelm her and drag her along, not realizing, or realizing but rationalizing, that your way is the best way? I wouldn't mind driving a fancy car and wearing nicer clothes, taking exotic vacations and enjoying more dinners out. Some folks bust a nut to make that stuff happen, but I consider that stuff fluff. It's cool, it's fun, but a taste of those things is enough for me. Maybe it's enough for her, too. Or, maybe you're right, and she has gotten lazy. Burned out. Depressed, even. Then the question becomes, can you live with who she really is now? Do you her, or who she used to be? Why not have a calm discussion, and really listen? don't project YOUR onto her. I've got a vibe that you tend to do that, and it's sure to make her shut down. Find out what really makes her tick today, not umpteen years ago. And if you two can't find some middle ground where you can both be happy. its my birthday tomorrow looking to 19490 tonightDo you communicate with your wife? I mean listen to her issues and problems, and give the the to listen to your issues in a constructive, mature manner, then work together to resolve? It sounds to be like the level of sex you want is becoming the tipping point for the other issues you are having in the marriage. Sounds like you work a typical 9-5 job, whereas she is working, late hours during the week. Hitting her up for sex when she gets home, tired, exhausted is not the way to set up a good night and a lasting relationship. Add some romance to things, help her to unwind from the day without getting pushed on for help with the housework, sex, etc. Let her have time to de-compress first. Imagine if roles were reversed, you wouldn't like to get hit as as you get in the door about taking out the trash, doing dishes, handling a screaming, etc. A marriage is a partnership, and if you feel one partner is taking advantage, then you need to speak up in a constructive manner. But also, you need to allow the other time to re-join the fight. My suggestion is to alter your tactics, and don't ask for or expect sex for a couple weeks. Give her time to relax when she gets home. Run a bath, set up some soothing music, etc when she arrives home. You'll likely find her more likely to help out and willing to be more in the bedroom if you can have some. Good luck and don't throw in the towel yet. horny matches
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