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what you seem to have are several problems here. 1. He isn't working and you want for him to find a job. 2. Your self esteem, his possible addiction. As for number one, talk to him and discuss possible job options for him. Do you know if he is or isn't applying for jobs between porn stops? Have you offered to help him with his resume or cover letters? Would that help? If you aren't comfortable with being a one income family, you need to talk about it right away. If you feel that he isn't contributing in other ways (like cleaning etc) then talk about it right away. As for the porn, he have an addiction, or he be having a difficult time finding free porn that gets him off. If you aren't interested in sex, you can't blame him for needing a sexual release. Are you thinking there is something more he could do to get you in the mood? When you are in the mood, does he turn you down? I personally don't have a problem with my husband looking at porn, so as our sex life doesn't suffer. I'm know he finds me attractive and isn't going to leave me because of something he saw in porn once. He married me because he wants to spend his life with me, not a porn. Would it help you to remember that you are his reality, and he chose you? Porn can be an escape, especially if he hasn't found more productive things to do (like volunteer work, projects around the house, job hunt). You aren't ugly or unattractive unless you convince yourself otherwise. I understand how you would have hurt feelings, but be sure to seperate the different issues here. to the new girl in my karate classask the woman you're with how most men she's been with have lasted. Or better yet just ask her how she wants you to last. NEVER compare yourself to anyone, especially a porn. That's titillating surreality, not sexual reality. attract women
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