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" Better not say that or she might get depressed." Actually I think a more accurate description was "better not say that or she might get angry". But he was like that with everyone, NOT just me. Always calm, always held back, always repressed. I married him because I needed stability and I saw what he did as stable. I was too to recognize that withholding one's emotions (even from oneself) is not a sign of a person. You know like those who go postal all at once? "You really want to focus on your spouse behavior and not on your own." No, I've BEEN focusing on my own ever since then. But omitting the look at him and who he was/is has hindered my healing from the divorce, to some extent, because I still him in the perfect image he presented instead of what was hidden underneath. in my mind, I know he wasn't. But in my heart, he still holds that image because of how I was treated by him. He was deeply codependent, care-taking and enabling and my heart still wants to believe he loved me, even though evidence is that those behaviors were to control the relationship. " You just keep trying to justify you breaking your vows" AGAIN NO! IT WAS WRONG!!! I would never advise anyone to do that. It was a stupid mistake on my part. And I don't it as a mistake ONLY because of the effect, but because it was UNLOVING and that is ALWAYS a wrong choice. Okay? Apparently I have to keep repeating that to each poster. "How is it you can be together that and not mature?" Because my independence vanished slowly but surely under the pressure of illness, depression and a husband who's idea of marriage was to serve in all ways possible. Have you heard the expression "- with niceness"? It's rare, but it happens. Someone takes care of every little problem in your life until you can no longer handle any problem yourself. Most of it happened while I was ill (gastric problems, panic attacks, vertigo). People mature when they have to face difficulties. He kept me from facing the difficulties even by lying to me. I knew he lied just not to me. And you seem to put forth the idea that one spouse having an affair means it's okay for the other one to have an affair without leaving the marriage. Is that really what you meant? ugly virgin girl
get a JOB and damn fast someone please correct me where I'm wrong!: You have health benefits for now, lousy as they are, it's better than nothing. You'll have to take leave from work for surgery and recuperation. you get back to work within a month? I don't think so. So that means you'll have to pay for your health benefits out-of-pocket. How much of your premium does your employer pay???? If you don't pay this FULL premium (including your employer's portion of the payment) for subsequent months you're off work, your health benefits cancel. Then you'll have a lapse in coverage. You do NOT want a lapse in coverage!!! Even if your DH gets a job somewhere during that time, WITH benefits, you won't automatiy be signed on and receive full benefits (because you had a lapse in coverage AND you have a pre-existing condition). There'll be a waiting period I forget how, 6 months, 12 months, something. They can't deny you for a pre-existing condition, but they don't have to enact your coverage on day one (of his eligibility with the new job, usually 90 days), either. As far as I understand the current laws, the only way you can maintain coverage with no lapse, is if you KEEP your coverage for a few months yet, HE gets a job with benefits, and you don't need to use that new coverage until he's past the 90-day probationary period with his employer. His new insurance must go into effect no more than 30 days after yours cancels. Play it safe, and make them overlap. (When this happened with DH, he'd been paying $ /mo for coverage. His employer paid the other $ /month. We got damned lucky his employer listed him as "approved leave" rather than FMLA on their records. As such, they continued to pay the premiums for the six months he was off work.) wanting sex tonight in Dumbujiyou are as a person and they accept that you are you a lesbian, then why would they want you to be something you're not (or appear as something you're not) for their? It seems like maybe they really aren't % ok with it not enough anyway, not to make an issue out of it and ask you not to have obvious PDA in front of her. What are they trying to protect her from you? knowledge? life? I could understand if they want to tell her on their own or in their own way but she's 10 already and are they going to wait until she's an adult before they let her in on the big "secret"? That only reinforces the idea that it's something to hide or lie about this is your life and who you are. If they you then they all of you and wouldn't ask you to pretend to be something for their convenience (of not having to tell their that there are more than 2 ways to -). it seems like this is something that is on your mind..and should be! maybe you can discuss this with both of them you shouldn't have to bear the burden of these feelings on your own especially since they created them. Let them know how you feel and how their request made you feel if nothing at least they might be able to open their minds a bit. In my experience, most people who say things like this aren't acting in a malicious way they probably didn't realize the effect this would have on you but they should know. Otherwise you have a wall between you and them and they won't know what it's about and maybe assume it's from something totally unrelated. good luck! single parents dating
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