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What's it mean? You think she cheated? You stayed married for eight years of problems, but now that one half of you (and it's not you) decided to try and make it work (and you admit she's doing all she can) you're NOW going to look for painless ways to just opt out? You can get out any time you want. Right now, you can get up and leave and get a hotel room or rent an apartment. Bang. Done. What does "the right way for the and us" mean? The painless way? don't be obtuse; that doesn't exist. If you're going to leave, and you know you're going to leave, and there's absolutely nothing she can do to make you stay, you don't say "I want to leave you". You say "I'm leaving because- ", and then you do it. You don't stay and have them turn themselves inside out to please you if you know it's no good. You can up and decide to give it another shot, or you can up and explain that you're leaving, and do it, and send your support and your on the weekend, but to say you want to leave her and then stay and watch her jump through hoops to keep you is ridiculous. don't be such a wuss. You're enjoying this, I think. You're enjoying being the wounded one who can't move past the problems and watching her bend over for you. All this time, even though it sucked, you stayed. NOW that she wants to make it work, you're going to show her, right? Why don't you put your thumbs in your ears and wiggle your fingers and say "nyah nyah, nyah nyah". Get over yourself already. Stay, go, shit or get off the pot, but there's no avoiding the fallout.( That's where your come in.) bbw over 50 in Union United StatesIf you are (continually) ready to move forward with some one that needs you to pull most of the weight? Let's face it, you had to know you were going to be doing most of the weight pulling when he was put on SSI. I'm sure you probably would have been fine with that if you got a little credit for it and some respect for your opinion on financial matters. But yeah, that's not happening. I'm sure something like that DOES tear down your self esteem after a while. After all, self esteem is based on mastery of things/situations around you, like a career and home life. And even though you might start to feel proud of those things and yourself, it can be hard to constantly build yourself back up after the person you share those successes with, tears you down. I guess I'd start pushing for marriage counseling because I couldn't live like this. And talking to him doesn't seem like it's working. If there was any unwillingness to go to marriage counseling, I'd leave. swinging club
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