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Through a number of these posts. This raises certain alarm bells for me. While I obviously don't think BDSM is inherently abusive, I do think that people sometimes turn to it for unhealthy reasons that parallel the reasons people end up in abusive relationships. For someone with low self-esteem, the attraction of submission can be quite powerful, because you can live out the self-negation and the sense of yourself as small, weak and worthless, but at the same time you can be cherished and valued for those traits. This can be deeply cathartic and help a person to build a stronger sense of self, but it can also go in the other direction. It sounds like you're at an early stage in exploring BDSM. Please remember that whatever you do in terms of BDSM, you and your Dom are two equal human beings with equal rights to happiness, safety and security, and equal rights to experiment and explore erotiy. No one has to be at fault if a scene or a hook-up doesn't work or feels awkward; you're trying new things, and not all of them be great. It's like if you were a kid from Iowa arriving in New York City and trying out all the ethnic restaurants: you don't have to clear your plate at the Ethiopian place if it tastes kinda gross, and you certainly shouldn't feel guilty for having ordered something you'd never tried before. As as you're honest with the people you're playing with, you shouldn't have to feel bad for experimenting and not loving the results every time. anyone horny Barrowit's all one topic, since this is SO new to you, you might be best off to start out journaling. learning to write erotica's a skill that pays you back forever. heck, learning to write at all is a skill that serves most of us better than we give it credit for. but muddling it out on paper might help you explore the 'forced to live as a boy' versus 'playing at being a boy' versus 'pretending you are a boy' there isn't a tenth the literature on forced masculinization as there is vise versa, (though would have it if anyone does) so yes, to a certain extent, you're on your own though gayboy erotica might give you some hints about how to play out a scene. as to involving other people honestly, that's one of those places where the net is better than real life- it's a place where you can exchange HEAD games without putting your body at risk, for starters and where you can meet a much broader range of people than you can in any physical location, eh? the 'school boy' fantasies might be right up your alley, spark some imaginations, give you a to compare the humiliation against mere aggression (remember- sissyboy as a term goes back two hundred years, and used to mean nothing more than a boy who was less than a brute or an athlete the boy who wore glasses used to be a sissy, not the boy in frilly panties) against the 'slave' aspect. and take notes (get a 'boy's' journal, whether a leather-bound one, a black and while 'composition' book, or a school binder with a Yu-Gi-Oh character on it) so you can compare your gut response to things with your measured consideration :) :) that should keep you busy, yes? you'll come back and share, won't you? nude personals
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