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* Please make sure you'e willing to text me all the time but never show up anytime we actually set up to go out. I really think it's hot when you continue to text me and tell me you really want to go out, but then magiy dissapear when I ask you out, then pop up again when you're "not busy"
* Please be married and ask me to be your back up plan in case something happens to fall through with your husband. I'm so glad you thought enough of me to place on the backburner and tell me about your little secret after a month.
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* Please make sure to spend an entire weekend texting me about how wonderful you think I am and how great a time you are having with me and how much you miss me and want to see me again and then on Monday get really upset and say that I'm taking things too fast when I ask you if you want to go out later that night. It's even better that you never talked to me again despite the fact that you were the one who suggested over the weekend that we should go out! You were right, I did move to fast in thinking that you were actually a decent person.
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