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First, and most importantly, find a good, competent, trained, experienced therapist. Find someone who specializes in sex addiction, and other addictions, and has extensive experience. You could try to find a therapist in the Bay Area. Do your homework. There are good books on the subject if you want to read about it. Do a e search on sex addiction and read as much as you can. I just saw a website from a therapist in LA that has some good ideas about "how to" and "how not to" treat sex addiction. I recommend reading it and taking his ideas into consideration. 12-Step groups, such as Sex Addicts or others, can be of help and good support but they can also be detrimental and provide a lot of misinformation. Do not join a group without also having a therapist. There is. There is help. You can overcome this. And yes, I am speaking from experience. I have been through it myself. New york bro looking for top
its not so much thinkin little of my gender as much as I think that little if not worse of myself too.. I what goes on all around.. I knwo all these people who have tons to offer and yet they cant make a go of it.. and here I am I have sweet fuck all to offer.. so I know for a fact there is no in hell for me to be in a relationship. Prime example was the 2 yr distance relationship I was in that the girl told me I was the only one.. that she wanted to me ect. then to find out she had 5 guys on the string. From the way I honestly it its not a matter of wanting to date or not.. its not being worthy of it.. Its not a poor me thing.. its just the way it is. IF I was anything of substance then 2 years invested would have meant something.. Then recently having yet another situation/relationship that hits close to home that not only effects myself but family members as well..To have this said person flat out lie about the extra relationships, but then use the religious background as a way to justify it is plain bullshit. In my mind if a person is not true to their word then they are not much of a person at all in my books. Is it a staunch way to look at things? maybe, but that is the one positive thing my father did teach me growing up. All my points were was to go in tread lightly with a guarded heart.. I dont think there is anything wrong with that. the fact she said she wanted something not emotionally based was NOT mentioned for some time. If this si what she truly wants out of life then fine so be it.. but be realistic too. emotions feelings trust slide in there.. they always do.. even if he goes off with someone.. the companionship the company the something to do be missed in some way. While I applaud MsL and i am a big fan of hers.. We also have seen the emotional side as well. And again thats my only fear is in time her heart be broke and I for one do not want to witness that. its never fun when someone is hurting, esp a friend. you said yourself it was a set up for disaster.. I just agreed with your point.. if she is not totally confident.. not % eyes wide open heart shut off then this could be for a world of hurt. Its from that this all exploded since I said something a little less popular, that sounded in the end a little less encouraging about possible outcomes. Illinois sex buddiesprofessional help with this. Not the break-up, but the addiction. It clearly interferes with your life. You don't want to be alone with porn forever, do you? I don't think self-help books are going to cut it, at least not until you have a clear path to take to getting healthier. As as the big part of you want to "give into it" you're not even close. Your other subject how do you know you're not right for the person you're with you're together years and you don't feel close enough to share the thing that is ruining your life. That's not intimacy. You can tell her the truth, that you're not ready for an LTR. don't be cruel and string this girl along because you don't want to hurt her. You know that's bullshit and leads nowhere so just up and break up. Instead of picturing her crying and hurt because you broke up, imagine her crying because you acted on your lust and cheated. And she then finds out that for years you've been obsessing on other women. She finds your porn stash. There's your real hurt, the kind that lasts a time. You need to fix some things before you can even consider a relationship. Please find a way to a professional and get this off your chest and start to fix it. slow dating
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