Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array Border Alaska discreet datingmassage Hello interested in massage? tomorrow? I'm available and can host I'm lmk if serious girls to fuck in Sacramento mb passion
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i need a datedaynight today i have so questions. how did you come to be this boy's godson? how is it that you don't know his parents? don't parents typiy ask a person to be a godparent because they are very very close to the person and them as family? why did you accept the position of godparent if you have such a low opinion of them, and think they would you if they had any? why are you involved with this family? if you are so easily distracted in the car, why are you driving? honestly, you make it sound as if you could crash at any time, if a bug flies in or anything unexpected happens. yikes. if the godson only wants the mom to come, then maybe he should only invite the mom and that is who you drive. or maybe the family should just take a cab. the bigger issue that i though, is that somehow you are a godparent to a family with problems, who you don't trust, and it sounds like you don't have a very high opinion of. that is extremely strange. is there anyone 61356 who wants sex
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