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My counselor and I talked about grieving a loss. Grieving a loss of, companionship, family, marriage, and financial stability due to cheating is very complicated. In addition to the physical losses, the person who was cheated on tends to rethink the whole relationship, and have to re-process it to fit the new reality. How can the person who said they would defend you against any harm, cause you the worst pain you have felt up to this point in time? The person cheated on then starts pondering reasons why it happened, ways it could have been prevented, followed by self doubt, the hurt of rejection, pain of lies and betrayal. If there are it is a wound that continues to be felt, because now you have times when you are separated from the. Anger, frustration, and possibly more lies from the ex. There are years of consequences for the one cheated on and the who now split time between two homes. I agree with the poster who said it is a hurt to another that was preventable. The other person could have said, "hey, I'm leaving the relationship because I'm going to have a relationship with someone." That would be painful, but at least with some amount of respect and without the lies. Being cheated on sucks. But, I'm sure it's not the worst pain. The grief cycle for a loved one who dies, is surely painful. If it is a, I can't comprehend how traumatic that would be. I pray that I never experience that pain. looking 22 charleston 22You,ve broken up multiple times. I'll bet that breakup and the first separation might have been "taking the easy way out" because you both didn't deal with the problems causing the break, you just ran away from it and hoped they would go away on their own. The second separation should have proven to you this wasn't possible but then you went back *again*. But this time sounds quite serious. No, I don't think it's worth it to give it another shot. strikes, you're out. It doesn't sound like the two of you are strong enough nor committed enough to save this marriage. It *might* be possible for him to fix his problems (most of them, anyway, bi-polar is not likely to be fixed), but I doubt you have the deep level of commitment to tough with him throughout this process. And with breakups already, he should have had a clue to get professional help, which he did not. So he doesn't have that deep commitment, either. You both probably each other deeply but doesn't fix all. That deep commitment is not something you can create it either exists already, or it does not. No, my friend, divorce is not the "easy" way out. It's the right solution for you, this time. Rehab, therapy, and anger management training are the right solution for him. If you go back to him, THAT'S the easy way out because you'd be avoiding the pain of divorce, admitting the relationship was a failure, and starting over as a single woman. It's the easy way out for him, too as he would attempt to avoid facing his issues properly (he got you back, so why should he fix anything?). It's like you two decided to build a house in an earthquake zone but you picked materials which were not designed for that purpose. Maybe this might have been reinforced with doubling the structure or using epoxy glue or titanium nails or whatever when it was first built but you didn't. Now things are cracked and split. You can't fix that with more glue or nails. The only solution is to tear it down and start over with the right materials. hot chat
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