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-The second-person perspective rarely works for stories like these. That is much better suited for personal letters or stories meant for a specific someone, rather than a broad audience. The constant stream of I/you ends up being a bit distracting. Stick with first person, or a narrator. -More kink!! -While better written than your typical "Dear Penthouse" story, it still reads like one due to the exclusive focus on describing genitals and sex acts in great detail. How well this is received depends a lot on your target audience though. people prefer to stay focused on the juicy bits and don't care one whit about the psychological and emotional underpinnings. I am not one of them. (Know your audience.) -"Throbbing member" should be stricken from your erotic vocabulary, lol. Avoiding those cliches are one of the toughest parts of erotic writing. All in all, fairly well-written, but predictable. Keep writing. watch some porn foreplay or
and just do it. Hell you're 'doing it' now, just whining about it. So have your pity party but don't overstay your welcome. You're not alone lots of people have had to go through the shit. They know the drill food tastes like cardboard, you're wired all the fucking time and can't sleep but feel so tired you wish you could sleep for a week. You're stomach's acid, your head is fuzzy and you've got this pain in your chest that wants to crush you. How the fuck are you supposed to make it through this? By getting up every day, by doing what needs to be done. By getting the divorce OVER as as possible. You make yourself focus on the business of divorce and not the emotions of it..you take care in doing so because the decision you make in this fucked up condition impact your life for years to come. You find a way to be fair, nonemotional and firm as fuck. You find that last little bit of testicle left and you use it to out the details. YOU do the work. You figure out how to take care of yourself physiy because you're fucking basket case mentally and that is going to last a little while it's going to suck but you can play a role in how it sucks. You can make it shorter by 'powering through it' so to speak. Look, I'm sorry you're getting a divorce wouldn't wish it on a single person well maybe the Boise State kickers who missed those damn field goals the last two years but that's my fucking immature spite speaking where was I? Oh yeah powering through it. Dude, there are books, pills, exercise, therapists, friends..this hell hole all there so you can handle it. USE 'EM. But take care of the business at hand and end this fucking thing. Take control of it, manage it. Kind of kick in the balls ain't it? Know those other peeps who said divorce was really painful well now you know. The loser club isn't all pain and suffering life can be good but you're gonna have to get through this shit first so get to it. Or get shitfaced and a rebound just as well local sex tonight NewarkEAGER TO PLEASE local swinger
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