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I agree that money is a frustrating issue. I am a saver and my husband is a spender. I save about of my income. Husband goes out to breakfast and lunch every day, has expensive hobbies, etc. He drives a newer car, mine is 20 years old. One thing, is that if you make substantially more than him, even if you save a proportionate amount (which is not a bad idea), you are going to have more spending money. One thing that might help is if you BOTH agree on how much spending money you would get during the month, and get the same amount, not a proportion. You also have more debt, which should be a priority to pay down. Realistiy if you end up getting married, your incomes would be combined, so it would not matter who made more, you would get the same amount of spending money. Do you think that is something he would be willing to try? Money is a tricky subject. Men don't tend to like to give up control to women in the first place, especially with money. Maybe you could try asking HIM to make a specific financial plan of what you two need to do? Clearly you've figured it out. If he sits down with a pen and paper and calculates, "If we want to buy a house that costs $ K, we need to have ." That might get him more engaged? Knoxville Tennessee massage rubdown'expert' was he? I didn't watch the show. I don't know where these characters are at, but to sit with pen in hand waiting for someone to screw up so you can jump all over them sounds, well, kinda dom. :) one night stand
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