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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. San diego or asian ladies please step forward
the law? So this guy maliciously withheld vital information so now the women who became infected are charging him. To what end? So he serves jail time? Would he have to pay damages? he survive enough to the consequences? I suspect that's part of the reason he didn't give a crap. I can it being useful in terms of telling a patient they're legally required to tell all of their partners they have an sti, because it can help stem the spread of the infection, and most decent people would WANT their partners to get treated. Part of me though thinks that if I had tested HIV +, aren't my rights to privacy being violated if I'm legally required to disclose my HIV status? (I'm playing devil's advocate here) adult personals Black Canyon City Arizonawho are with men who have AIDS, and the women get nothing. It's not fully understood but be careful of generalizing. Much of Africa's problems stem from one inane moronic twit at Cal Berkeley who maintains that HIV doesn't cause AIDS, and he gained the ear of the criminally stupid head of South Africa, who has actively prevented much of basic info and safety. dating guide
Alice horny cougars Bare with me for a sec cuz I'm just thinking this out but I think people also forget that marriage is very different these days than it used to be. Gender rolls in western society were far more rigid. Men were expected to support their wives and financially and wives were expected to support their husband and emotionally/domestiy. Men were groomed to be the "men of the house" and women were groomed to be "good wives and mothers." I think a lot of the problems with marriage today stem from a blurring of those rolls and people having to define their marriages for themselves with a LOT more gray area. It's WONDERFUL but also very confusing. Particularly since most people are unaware of just how much the feminist movement has changed our society as a whole. It's kind of nice to think that men of my generation actually think that women are their equals. It's still happening though and things are still be ironed out. Both of your examples prove my point. "Men need to help more" -> Indicative that the male gender roll still hasn't quite solidified to be "obvious" that men need to also do things traditionally thought of as a wife's roll. The need to keep dating their spouse, I think, is fallout from the fact that women are now able to walk away from marriage without being social pariahs. They have a lot more choices (choices traditionally reserved to men) and though it's a touchy subject it's not nearly as acceptable for husbands to rape their wives. The "not enough sex" issue and cheating has been a millenia arguement so not so new. Men have been keeping mistresses for as as there were "monogamous" relationships. What I think is interesting is that men are less able to go outside of their relationships without their wives/gf's leaving them and SO it also leaves a certain amount of responsibility on the part of the women to try and keep their menfolk happy. Again fallout from the blurring of gender rolls. Where women were previously more dependent and unable to leave in a lot of situations or chose to turn a blind eye, we more and more this cheating is unacceptable so now what? situation. mature women date La Conner
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viewpoint to another? First he's a great guy who makes the bed, cooks for you, spends time with your and buys them gifts and the next thing you know wham, the relationship is ALL about him. Hmmm, not buying it. Personally there are some key red flags about the relationship I can BUT they stem from BOTH of you. You them, you are posting about them but yet what you want to do is charge ahead regardless. He's still on the fence FOR GOOD REASON. Quite frankly, what I wonder is why YOU aren't wanting to move more cautiously. Geez you've only been divorced for a year!! looking for fun down massages and more lewisville
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