I Should Have Told You By Now m4w I think I love you. I think about you every second of every day. When I fall asleep, my dreams are about you. When I wake up, I look at the empty pillow next to me and wish you were there looking into my eyes. I wish I could tell you how I really feel. I would have told you by now, but I didnt, and now Im afraid its too late.
My heart is what worries me, its the reason why I am scared to approach you. If we were already together and I hurt you, Id beg you for one more chance to make you fall in love with me. But the fact is I never had you I dont think I ever will. I hate the way I feel but at the same time love it so much. I see you every day, I talk to you every day. But the only way I will be fine is if I am with you,
I wish I could tell you but I dont want to scare you away from me, and I would rather see you and not be with you then to never see you again, because seeing you every day is a gift from God that I was blessed with. I guess I will never know how you feel unless I confess my love to you. Who knows you might feel the same about me. I really think I love you, I just dont know how to tell you.
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Not to beat a dead horse, because I think other people (male and female) have already given you excellent responses, but do you truly recognize what an impact this has had on him? He was disease free and you made a decision (denial or not, clear thinking or not) to expose him to that disease. Now he has it and have it for the rest of his life. It's not so simple as "we both have it, so no biggie." He has this for the rest of HIS life. You two divorce. You die prematurely (hopefully not!) and he have to live with the fact that he has this and it forever inconvenience him and perhaps forever make it harder for him to find a partner. What you did was very selfish. I have to wonder if part of his anger stems from the fact that you don't seem to fully acknowledge that, accept full blame for it and without any excuses. What I read is hedging around responsibility, saying you were "in denial" and trying to pass it off as a silly mistake like not wearing a seat belt. This is not a joke to him. This is not funny to him. You gave him a life disease and you need to own that. He has a right to be pissed at you, particularly since after you got it from your BF, you knew it was possible to transmit it to others and you should have theoretiy been a little bit smarter about how it feels to be given this disease by someone you trust. I think this continue to be an issue until you can acknowledge what you have done and face it for the serious issue that it is. I can understand why it would make him extremely angry if your attitude is "I got over it quickly so why can't you?" You chose to expose him to this disease and now you take away his right to be angry about it? You chose to not tell him you were positive and to expose him so that you could avoid the possibility of him rejecting you. You stole his right to choose what was right for his body. Can you understand how selfish that must appear to him? sex dates Hawaii
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