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instead of "fix' is "identify." You need to identify why this happened so it doesn't happen again. If you identify something in you that needs work, by all means go for it. I'm not trying to imply that you're % "cured" becasue you finally broke it off. My concern when you refer to yourself as 'something is wrong with me' you are hearing his words. So yeah, something was wrong when you picked this guy and ignored (probably) red flags, but it doens't mean that there is always something wrong with you. after mothers day let your boy love you-'s thread and her concern (that I know has been shared by of us over the years) about sanity in the face of some let's admit it bat shit crazy activities that we choose to do, has me thinking about guilt, and self identification, and SSC versus RACK. For the purpose of this discussion, let's clarify that SSC means safe/sane/consensual and RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. One of the most important things that I have heard in my 4 years in the community is that nothing we do is particularly sane, but if we are aware of the risks and do what we can to mitigate them, we are doing enough. Hearing that from someone who was qualified enough to teach a class instantly made me remember all the times I'd worried about being crazy or how fucked up was my psyche that I craved/needed to be beaten and degraded. And I felt all that lifted. Ok, I'm not necessarily sane. But I am careful and all my partners consent. Why I want these things doesn't really matter because there is a wide world of people who don't have one shred of commonality with me, except that we like to be beaten and degraded. So it isn't my past and it isn't any one thing, so why worry about it. I am capable of having intimate, loving, otherwise "normal" relationships and I have found a way to have the most amazing orgasms of my life. What's wrong with that? I guess my point of discussion is whether or not identifying as SSC or RACK increases the burden of "am I crazy" we allow ourselves to. cyber sex chat rooms
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