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Alot of people seem to start their posts with "I cant believe I am doing this".
"At the end of the day, it comes down to this. The way we choose to see ourselves, it limits who we can be. Step outside the box, and you might learn something. Because we are more capable then we imagine. Because we all have it in us to do things we've never done before. Because sometimes we can surprise even ourselves." -Erica Strange (big bonus points if you know who this is)
Maybe it doesnt need to be said but to avoid any confusion I feel I have to note these things cause otherwise I may ignore your response:
I am going to do my best to lay my feelings out as best as possible. You may look at it and say there is too much but realize everyone has their issues but few are willing to put them out right away.
Sorry if this is long but I do hope you read the whole thing. I do get to a point eventually.
I have read the women seeking men side and repeatedly see statements about how hard it is or why dont i get suitable responses, or lots of other things of that sort.
Not sure if the women's side gets as much spam in response to an ad but I think I am averaging like x5y3 please explain that. On the same vein I will not respond to emails that have a different respond to address than the address email is coming from or telling me to respond to a different address
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Thanks for all those who have been keeping up with my posts. I've been with my BF for 4 years. We've had some rough patches. We've stayed together and I do him, despite his faults. His happiness has always been important to me, and I care about him very much. I'm really in the thick of trying to figure out if it's worth continuing. The commute issue recently brought some more issues to the fore, and now I have a lot of material to work with in determining whether to stay or go. Ideally, I'd like to stay with him. I need some SMALL changes in our relationship. I need more affection, first of all. I need a daily hug or kiss initiated by him. I need occasional dates to let me know the fun/passion/specialness of our bond is worth celebrating to him, and that a once-a-month occasion to get dressed up and have a good meal is worth it. I need his time, not to be left alone for large parts of the weekend while he works on his hobbies. I need to be told "I you," even twice a year would be good. I need to know (less easy to measure) that he be there for me when I need him. Should I tear my meniscus again or have an accident or get sick, that I can count on him to be tender and helpful and kind. I don't think these are big things to ask for. Before I throw in the towel, can I talk to him about these things? How can I let him know that it's REALLY important now (we've had the affection/intimacy talk before with no change in his efforts/behavior)? I read someone -'s post earlier here today where the female OP was saying how she felt she was "wrong" for wanting certain things. I've been down that road, wondering if I wasn't sexy/-/desireable/good enough, or if there wasn't something fundamentally wrong with me for how he was behaving towards me (I do believe he loves me, he just SUCKS at showing it and over time it wears me down). Now that I've healed that part and realized there's nothign wrong with me to prevent him from loving me in these ways, and that I deserve those ways of being loved, I'm facing ending it, if he can't how I NEED these things like plants need. So how can I talk to him about this? I would ideally like to save the relationship. All along I thought it/we would grow sebring fun tonightany more than I know the rise in the morning. BS aside, he very well have repent of his sins and gone to heaven. But I do believe that at some point you do pay a price for your bad acts in this life. Just my opinion, what's yours? singles matchmaking
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