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When I worked in security, we learned this fascinatingly simple thing they ed Escalation of Force (they even had a cute little professional poster like the kind we had in grade school, except about the proper way to beat people). Anyway, sometimes you tease me because you say I think you act too mean. So now I tease you for accusing me of acting too nice. I think in any situation there are *stages* of response that make sense. In a situation that begins at a low level, the response you detailed IMHO is too. What if the women wasn't even aware that she knew people, and all it would take to turn her to being pro rights was realizing someone close to her was a lesbian? In that case, the best thing you might be able to do would be to friend her and be out, and that could be all it took to open up her world. But if you start out at your stage, then you almost certainly guarantee that she hate all people forever, which seems counter to your stated purpose of having real multiculturalism (and not just some bullshit on paper that no one actually respects, like, say, civil rights for people of color if anything, libertarianism tells us that having big bro put things on paper is not the right direction to go about it). On the other hand, the dude in the bar who kept groping your friend deserved what he got, because a real, concrete person in his own sphere of existence asked him to stop what he was doing and yet he continued to physiy her. So fuck that guy. He started out at a higher level of force, and the appropriate response was in kind. sevice your cockI think you're a psychic vampire. Basiy, that's someone that insinuates themselves into your life inappropriately and drains your mental/emotional energy through neediness and clinginess (sometimes negativity too). The psychic vampire refuses to take "hints" that might be more socially acceptable and force some folks into continuing to out with them out of some form of guilt. The only way to be rid of a persistent psychic vampire is to throw social rules out of the window, stop being nice, and be a complete asshole towards the vampire. I'm cutting to the. Hell no, I'm not coming to your party, nor meeting you. You've never talked to me before (that I know of). And you've put no effort into getting to know me and you don't go inviting random strangers off the internet to the special party you've arranged for your "lover". You have friends come to parties like that. You've done none of the usually-required work on being social with me and getting to know me and establishing trust to even ask something like that. And now that you've exposed your vampirism, I'm ESPECIALLY not meeting you. EVER. Your whole plan to throw an elaborate party for a guy you've dated twice "to make him like you" is a favorite psychic vampire tactic. You're trying to buy his affection. In case he was creeped out by the inappropriate party, if he was planning on dumping you, there's this little seed of guilt you're hoping to plant within his heart through that gesture, isn't there? Your future BF: "Oh, I was planning on dumping him, but he just threw this elaborate party for me. How can I be a jerk and dump him now?" So basiy, you're trying to manipulate out of sympathy, guilt and kind gestures you be returned. Not going to work on me, and I it doesn't work on him. Having had experience with psychic vampires, I think it's bad behavior and I tease people for bad behavior. Get people to like or dislike you on the basis of your personality not by pushing yourself onto them, not by buying them things, not by trying to make them feel guilty when they don't play along with you. xoxo ~Power (- Helsing) Action courtship dating
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