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Something that's happening to me at a rate of speed now, that's surprising, unexpected, and I have no control of it, really (not that I'm wanting any control of it). It's just happening and a lot. It feels as if all of those classes in meditation and relaxation techniques that I taught when I was in my fourties(?) and all of my 'spiritual' books that I read mostly back then, that I keep in my library now(?) it all made sense to me then, but it was all a pale reflection of what Mother Nature is dishing out to me now, in the name of 'enlightenment'. I always had compassion for my husband, including when he became my former husband, and even when he was *hideous*. But I had a measure of Big Fear, and not enough backbone, to really deal with him. Now, our conversations are dominated by the presence of my Big, and I'm met with these silences from him, and more sweetness. He senses a change, and he's somewhat taken back. Then, there's other things that have taken shape in other significant relationships that I have. It's all clear, understandable, and fitting, really. This 'Goddess business' that I kid about is actually something that I take to heart. I want my candle to burn all the way down before I pass on. I want to all the way. Which is what's happening now. Gonna go polish my furniture now! God, I housekeeping!!! (not kidding) Big, Your nutty internet pal!!! married wm seeks what s missingIt isn't the smell of napalm in the morning but rather calcium carbide of mining lamps that keeps me fixated. The other fuel this lighting required was ordinary tap water. When water supply was nearing end and chemical fuel remained human urine could be introduced to fire the lighting anew. The brass portal was one inch wide. Women had problems with their aim. The operational odor of urine was distinctive so the general party knew who was down to the last drop. One tends to focus on the mundane even if deep below ground. It is a light relief. international dating
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