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so this was really interesting. i'm no stranger to the concept of bad patterning and i (perhaps obviously) come from a dysfunctional family. before the last two, the men i dated were wrong in a different way, depressed, needy, dependent. so this guy, and the guy just previous they were choices agains't type. a calculated move that i was hoping would take me in a better direction. i wasn't overwhelmingly attracted to either one initially, they were both friends of friends, things started off slowly (for me). although both of them seemed to be really into me fast. both of them instantly wanted to spend a lot of time with me, and do things that seemed a little premature for me. point being, i'm sure that (for me) that whole seeing a person from across the room and feeling that instant 'zing' is a sign of bad chemistry, best avoided. but somehow, these non-zings, ended up being very similar, and worse, in a way. the controlling, my way or highway, game-y type was never in my rotation before the last few years. so i must be putting out a new vibe or missing some real clues. i need to sit down and think carefully back over every first moment where i think "hmmmm, this is odd" with the last guy. they both ended up being so similar, it's uncanny. guy 1 was totally unavailable, never wanted to talk about emotions or fix problems. that's a no brainer, i should have ran from that sooner. But with guy 2, i spent a lot of time getting to know him before letting it get physical. months. and during this time he went on and on about how into communication he was, talking things out, in retrospect, maybe he was just excellent at telling me what i obviously needed to hear. to make matters more complicated, guy 2 knows guy 1 socially, so he even had his own knowledge of guy 1 to maybe use in his favor..if i want to get that cynical. i think this brings me to a new question and that is this things were great at first. super great rapport, it was like we were the best of friends. then one day, some small conflict happened and he just changed. he started picking fights, making petty comments, refusing to communicate or communicating non-constructively (like, i'd point something out and he'd counter with something i did a week ago- smoke and mirrors). this happened with guy 1 as well we suddenly fell into this mode where (- next post) fuck mate Ormond Beach citycelebrities or the fabulously wealthy is like comparing apples and Faberge Eggs. The wealthy and celebrities have a problem the rest of us don't, namely all kinds of people literally throwing themselves at them, all the time. They have so people they could, at a moment's notice, have sex with that they weaken and just give in. I don't know why any movie stars/etc. bother getting married, if they want to have sex with anyone they feel like and they know they much can, I don't know who they think they're fooling. Who wants a husband or wife who has groupies and sycophants hanging around. I always feel sorry for the husband or wife, not in show business, whose spouse makes it really big one day. That marriage is not going to make it, they never do. There must be some who have stayed together, but offhand I can't think of any. Hanks and, but she's in the biz to a smaller degree. I always wondered if Newman screwed around on, and god knows he sure must have had opportunities. I think he's the only celebrity I just can't believe that about. I think he was a different breed of guy, better. More to the point of your question: it's not dead in my house. Alive and well, thanks. 16 years and counting. sex clubs
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