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(and me too from my past) that kind of abusive attention is familiar and oddly comforting in its familiarity. When someone's nice to you, it's hard to trust it, because you wonder when they change and hurt you just like the others did. If they start out as an ass, you know that's how they are and you don't have to wait for them to disappoint you. If they start nice, it hurts more if they change. It's hard to be with someone nice, because it's hard to trust it. Sick logic, but there it is. athletic and good looking in towndone nothing more then what you stated. In the end when we and care for someone in our heart all we can do is do what is the hardest thing for anyone to do, truly give that person your heart you can apply that to submission and Dominance alike but at it's base it boils down to what is ones largest commitment. Stripping it all away and giving it to another. Hurt sucks, pain sucks, but in the end you deserve someone up to the challenge of doing the same thing for you that you do for them in there own way no matter how it manifests itself or the challenges involved just there willingness to face it is enough to fight for it together. Often times we blame ourselves when people don't or value us as we it. Blaming yourself is easier then accepting he just wasn't worthy of it because you can fix you and do better in your mind even though in truth that is an illusion just based on what you posted. in there move on heal and gather your strength just don't change who you are or less or give up trying someone that deserves what your willing to give is out there. Good luck to you. Keep your head up and be you lonely girl
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