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after testing different amounts in my mouth (from 2 15 drops), i did a a trial run by putting a bit of hot sauce on my finger and inserting it in my anus. i finally decided on mixing 8 drops of hot sauce (my bum is not as acclimated to this as my mouth!) with a hearty dollop of lube (silicone-based). lubed up the butt plug, inserted it and set the timer for one hour. minutes in i was squirming and beads of sweat were popping up across my cheeks and forehead, and i was seriously reconsidering the wisdom of lubing up my plug with hot sauce. reminded myself this was a punishment, took a deep breath and entered that transitional space where i was trying to submit to the experience with some measure of curiosity and, but kept bouncing back into hyper-awareness of the discomfort i was subjecting myself to. stayed in this awkward transitional state until i hit the 30-minute, and then i slipped over into that space where the raw pain of the burning sensation was both perfectly present and perfectly distant from me. tho i admit to being very happy to hear the timer go off when my hour was up! removing the plug triggered fresh waves of too-hot heat, and i used some cold plain yogurt in the hopes of quelling the burn (cuz my punishment time was over, dammit!). the yogurt helped, as did running cool water over my poor blistered-feeling bum, tho it took about 40 minutes for the heat to dissipate and disappear. again, thanks to y'all for sharing your thoughts/insights/suggestions/experiences i really appreciate it. South Yarmouth hotel bdsmMy went to bed before us due to an early morning job and told us to enjoy ourselves. We along to some old songs, snuggled on the couch, and then started making out. He checked in with me before each shift in the dynamic of our intimacy to be sure he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. I told him everything was fine and that the only reason we wouldn’t be able to have sex that evening would be because I didn’t want to disturb my sleeping by getting a condom. Luckily for us, he had one handy so we laid out a blanket on the floor of my fiancé’s music studio and had sex together for the first time in about years. The next morning while brushing our teeth together, I told my guy that “ our friend got laid last night.” He asked, “by you?” and looked a little shocked and/or hurt. I restated that yes, I’d had sex with our friend. After my shower, I checked in again to be sure I hadn’t unintentionally acted outside of his comfort zone. He assured me that my sleeping with our friend was not an problem, but he didn’t appreciate my delivery of such information because it sounded like I was shirking responsibility for my actions by saying HE got laid rather than WE had sex. I thanked him for making that clear, apologized for being insensitive by making a silly allusion to the joke we’d made the night before without first seriously letting him know what we did, and promised to do better next time. Later in the day, he asked me for more details, such as if we used condoms and the specific location of our connection. I confirmed that we used protection as is our agreement and asked if he would have preferred we not “invade his space” by using his studio. He took no issue with us being intimate in his room and told me he was grateful we didn’t wake him to get a condom from our bedside. I’m grateful for how we learn from each other how best to communicate our feelings and actions. match personals
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