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I'm trying to find a good couples therapist and haven't had a lot of success. I was in individual therapy for about 3-4 months until my relationship with that therapist went bad and she terminated our therapy. The issue that I was mainly seeing her about was trying to figure out how to work things out between me and my wife regarding my to have a kinky poly relationship and her wanting a monogamous vanilla one. yes i know my wife and i don't sound like a great match, but it is too complicated to just DTMFA (she's a 3rd world immigrant with no means of support, i care deeply about her, my family loves her, etc.). and i really do want to save our relationship. hence looking for a therapist. we found one couples counselor and had one session where we really hit it off with her, but then she contacted me and said that an old client had come back into town with some problems and she needed to give them our scheduled appointment and had no other room in her calendar. i've contacted some other therapists, specifiy looking for ones with kink/poly experience, without success they don't have time in their schedules. and honestly i'm feeling kind of down about looking for a therapist now. I had a lot of negative experiences with psychiatry on my own several years ago (including hospitalization that I still consider wrong), and rightly or wrongly i'm feeling somewhat betrayed by the last two practitioners, and so I've had a lot of trouble putting myself out there to really look hard for someone who can help us out. my wife doesn't want to put any effort into looking for a therapist because she says this is all my problem and she's willing to go along with it but doesn't a need to take an active role in making this happen. she comes from a culture that doesn't respect psychotherapy, so I feel like I'm constantly battling her feelings that this is a silly Western waste of $$$ and that we should figure this out for ourselves. anyways, hoping you all have some advice about looking for couples therapy when one is feeling discouraged and uncomfortable about the process. big cummer for latina lady1) Your wife could find out you've been sneaking around yourself, and leave you because you've been cheating and lying against her explicitly expressed wishes. 2) Your wife could be disgusted to find out that you're bi, if she doesn't already know. 3) Your wife could find and learn to another who takes her seriously, and doesn't want to pressure her to be a slut all over town in order to give him some sexual jollies. Strangely enough, most women who with a monogamous mindset tend to like men who are also monogamous, and feel a little alienated from men who wed and then try to change the rules within a few months. men seeking women
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