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Trainer at my gym. Hot as all hell, but in a "guy next door" kind of way. My gaydar went off upon first meeting him in a group workout class. Avoided each other for months HECK! I didn't even know his name! Then one day he comes up to me and addresses me by name ??? Asked if I have ever had a fitness test. Surprised when told him no. We schedule one. I give some racy answers. He tells me a lot about his personal life like he's married. I shrug it off as a sales pitch and that my gaydar (although still there) was wrong. He seems to always be around when I'm working out. He seems to walk through the locker room when I'm only in a towel or in my underwear. For the first time when I'm there HE is in the locker room, HE is going to take a shower!!! Me, trying to be non-plussed look out the corner of my eye and him in his boxers BUT he wraps his towel around himself to take underwear off. He walks by me and speaks so far, so good, I'm cool. Its when he comes out of the shower and looks me dead in my eyes as he walks towards me that kind of un-nerves me. Then he touches me with his wet hands and says; "If I don't you later have a good night." Gaydar is absolutely out of control now!!! Am I misreading this? What's the next move? fat girls Castelnuovo del Garda
First I want to say that this topic turned out better than I had hoped. It kind of steered in a different direction than I was wanting but was very entertaining and I found it very helpful. I have a new found respect for this forum and the people that post in it. Even you, QuQ. SF_Pervect_Man; thanx for the advice. Tips like that were just what I was looking for. With that said, I would like to add some details to my "story" because some posts have made bold assumptions based on the little info I had given. No where did I say I was afraid or terrified about any consequences of being out. I only mentioned that actively seeking a romantic interest while deployed is frowned upon. For gays and straights. We are here in this shit-hole country to do a job; like it or not, we do our job and do it well. A romantic, or otherwise, connection can be a distraction to what we do. But, we are human and it is difficult to suppress those emotions and desires. Speaking of those consequences. It is true that DADT is gone and in "theory" there are no repercussions for being out; it is still a sensitive subject with the military and is something that should be dealt with carefully. Its easy to be on the outside looking in and say, "Dont be a bitch, just come out and (blah-blah-blah) " Maybe for some people it is/was that easy. But not for everyone. I work with some of the finest and most professional soldiers I have ever known and, honestly, I dont think it would be a bad thing if they knew. I CHOOSE not to let it be known because I dont want it to be a distraction or even a topic of discussion right now. As for me being a grown and not having the courage to get a date with another. That is a bold assumption. Just like most people in a normal society, it can be difficult to meet people that you have a real connection with. That is why internet dating and dating advice columns are so popular. What is wrong with asking advice from another person? The hardest step for a lot of people is coming to the conclusion that you are. The next hardest step is getting out there with it. Its not as easy as just "growing a pair of balls." Lastly I would like to say; for a group of people that try so hard to be accepted, some of you sure are hostile to someone whos beliefs differ from your own. bbw and mature friendly1) Get out of the dating scene for a while. Seriously. Now. You are making sweeping generalizations that reek of resentment. You're jaded and if you're going on 2 -3 dates a month, this is turning into a hamster wheel with your bitterness growing daily. NOTHING turn off a woman more than that. THEY shouldn't have to pay for your bad dating experiences any more than you should have to pay for someone -'s and a good woman WON'T. 2) A little introspection you can identify that there be an issue within you which is a great start. Because, well the common denominator in all these bad dates is you. You aren't really choosing good prospects, right? Everyone has some baggage, everyone has had bad relationships you are not alone but if you want it to change you have to look at some things. It's nice that you have a job, are debt free and treat women respectfully but that's not quite going to land you the woman of your dreams. What help is identifying what about yourself is unique, special, noteworthy. Hobbies? Passions? Dreams for the future? C'mon. Give this one some thought. 3) Now take another look around you. Are you looking ONLY at girls in terms of physicality? Be honest now -, fantastic women with amazing qualities sit alone Friday night after a work week wondering why and as off the wall as it sounds, sometimes it's just that they are not "strut their stuff" kind of girls. Maybe dressing overly sexy even embarrasses them. One way to look beyond physicality (and I'm not implying that you need to date women you have no physical attraction for, just be willing to look beneath the surface stuff) is to immerse yourself in those hobbies/passions you should have identified above. Go to a group in your area that caters to that. Or, try a group for something you always wanted to try like a cooking class, photography, wine tasting the list goes on and on but you get my point. You'll be amazed at how much prettier women get when there is something you have in common with them beyond how hot you think they are. Stay away from bars, clubs, etc. Your woman is not there. 4) And, please don't even use the term "Trifilin Bitches" again. :) I'll betcha that could very well work for ya. couples have sex
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