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On all counts. ;-) I agree; it could be too easy to be swept up in the emotion of the moment and let logic fly out the window, but I don't want to put a band aid on something that's going to continue to bleed, either. And, yes, nothing like absence ..perhaps every couple should be required to take separate vacations before getting engaged (or after)! closet dirty girl wanna chat and see
I have similar issues. read that book, a few other books, and been to lots of therapy. at a certain point, it just comes down to you. you need to be the one to do the work of change. the books help you to understand why you are the way you are, but i went through a time recently where it didn't matter. all the dark corners were uncovered. there were no secrets. all the mines were located. and i still stepped on them and they still exploded. because the mines were everywhere. knowing where the mines are and how they got there is nice, and it's required, but it doesn't really help you when the mines are everywhere. you have to actually change. and blow some of them up. and discover that some of them aren't explosive anymore and can just be picked up and chucked out the window. and it's REALLY hard because there are lots of times where you're thinking if i do that i fucking die but then you have to do it anyway. i bet that EMDR therapy works, though. the is a system and those mines and insecurities are really neauropathways that were laid down in your childhood and are still firing even though they're no longer relevant to the situation the finds itself in today. therapy like talking it out and EMDR is all about retraining the to build new associations and pathways. You find yourself in a whole new space with no mines and plenty of room. local women wanting sex in EsfandgeranUsed to waiting for a day when my parents would be out of town or when I was sick and they were at work. Just so I could walk around my house in the buff. Also used to standing by our front window and masturbating to the joggers that ran down our street. None of them ever saw me, but the thought of a getting seen was always a turn on. Sorry if that doesn't sit well with anyone. secret encounters
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