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I can relate to that. Hearing the mundane details from home really does help ease stress on the combat soldier. They don't need to be stressed about problems at home (which they can do nothing practical to fix), but hearing the normal joys and fears from home helps to give some perspective to their unfamiliar environment and routines. Army counselors told me to tell him about the normal stuff what I had for dinner, how I cooked it, how it tasted and smelled; what I wore to work that day, how I arranged the furniture, what books I'd read or I'd watched, conversations with friends, the who cut me off in traffic, and so on. Details sights, smells, sounds, tastes, feelings. I just think the debate around this birthday reminder varies because it *could* be taken either way as a stressor that he's required to remember (as if he doesn't have enough to worry about already), OR as a comforting connection with home and those he loves. Much depends on the context in which you delivered that reminder. Was it with a requirement that he respond or you'd be hurt; OR was it delivered as a part of describing your normal activities with no expectation for a response????? shredinger s love life
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