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Why didn't you mention the loss of his job as part of the original story? I think you could use some time to really reflect on what's going on behind this money argument. I think there's a lot more going on than budgets and lunches at Chili's. This is about pressure to provide, being left with % of the responsibility to earn the money for the household while you pursue some dream of a better life. You're getting something YOU want and his life well it's full of stuff he HAS to do. The spending is a way of him getting what HE wants. You guys are setting yourselves up for the big fall. Oh he'll get to budget alright, he'll get to budget support and you, well probably kiss this education good-bye for a while. You'll be forced to work until you can afford to pay for it on your own. I gotta ask, did you offer to suspend your plans of going back to school after the job loss until things became more stable? Were YOU willing to give some of this up so that your husband wasn't left with this burden? Is this % on you? NO, not by a shot. He even be saying it's OK and you should keep going to school, verbally giving you full agreement but in reality, the actual real life work that's involved in supporting your wish to improve your education .IT ISN'T WORKING. Something's gotta give It's almost a no win scenario. Things stay the same, the money fights continue, you quit school he's failed to provide for his wife, you're dream dies because he can't make enough. All this budget talk is nice, yeah they are logical solutions but you two are disconnected. Most likely unaware of the emotions the other person feels about what this marriage has become. Well that's a buttload of ASSumptions I've made, could be so far off base it's laughable but my dipshit sensors are tingling The question that keeps coming up for me You're marriage is FAILING what are you really willing to do about it? serious fucking Gretna.. your last few words "you'll.. grow beyond what the x has to offer.". Because the reality is.. He has nothing to offer OP any more. He has nothing to give. Nothing worthwhile for OP.. beyond the fact that she has a daughter with him.. and her daughter needs.. occasionally when it's safe.. to spend limited time with him. Beyond that custodial role.. the ex no longer has a place in her future.. and least not a place there. eastern european women
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