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They're a community org local to you providing services and support for queer women in abusive relationships: The Network/La Red: -*** I don't think it's at all extreme to request a transfer from your manager. In fact, if your workplace has more than one location, transferring to an entirely new job site would be even better. It would probably be inconvenient, but it sounds like you're having a lot of trouble with keeping her away from you, which between that and being closeted makes me think going the human resources route wouldn't work for you. That said, if you can't transfer or find another job, the place above could also help you with locale-specific advice as far as what you could do to stay safe in your workplace. I'd especially ask about how to talk to management/HR, and look into support and counseling for learning to stand up for yourself while respecting your need for self-protection. Sometimes those two needs seem opposed to each other, but it's definitely possible to have both. It take awhile to learn how, and you'll likely stumble a lot to get there, but peace and sanctuary within and out lie at the end. As for how to do all that, at heart I think it starts with you deciding you're worth it, and certainly worth living this one life with. Then you'll have a place to start when it comes time to tell your abuser to go away and stay away for good, while taking whatever action you need to completely disengage yourself from them. If studs are your core attraction, there are plenty around who would treat you with and respect. Lying, cheating, and bullying for sex aren't acceptable no matter how anyone identifies. I you'll be able to find what you need to get out of this relationship. Partner in butch/femme relationships does exist, just as it does in any other kind of relationship; just with b/f, some of it tracks along fairly traditional gender lines. Your local support should be of help without trying to pathologize who you are and what you like, and the same should go for the important people in your life. ft Oludeniz bbw sexand quit when I know it's not a good fit for me OR the company, and what do I get? Chewed out by not only the store manager but also the manager who hired me. If this company had more things for people to do behind the scenes (. not around customers) I would have done what you suggested. But when (in my experience) places don't hire women as night-time stockers/backroom employees that's a no-go. (I can do the lifting/etc but people look at me, "woman" and discard the idea). This was meant to be a temporary fix kinda job, but when it's been over a month, and I no longer have the energy to consistently job hunt It was most definitely time to let go of it. Plus I really hate that feeling of "I have to get up and go to work because I have to, not because I want to" when it's only been a month and a half. Usually takes me about 6 mos to a year to have a day like that. And only occasionally, not everyday like this has been. so onto Careerbuilder, etc to jobhunt again. Yay! swinger party
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