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It's always possible that the OP is a perfect saint who has never done anything wrong, always reacted perfectly, has no flaws and has nothing at all to improve about herself. She is simply perfect. I have to give the OP credit for admitting in some of her posts that she hasn't done the right thing in lying to him and that her decision to pretend everything was fine hadn't been working. It sounds like they both have fallen into some patterns that are unhealthy and that both could use some help in learning better patterns. There are also two sides to every story. Sometimes the truth is in the middle. She him as a shitty father and irresponsible for spending too much time at work instead of with his. He her as an ungrateful nag for bugging him all the time when he's working so hard to put a roof over their head and be a good provider. Of course it's best to have a balance, but human beings aren't perfect. Plenty of women on here complain that their husbands spend all their time in front of the TV instead of working hard. My post specifiy addressed why it made her so angry that it took him 6 months to admit he had been put on depression medication. That's definitely not a good thing, though I can surmise after reading through her follow-ups that they've both gotten in the habit of hiding the truth from one another in order to avoid fights. Again, it's an unhealthy pattern they've both contributed to that needs to be changed. seeking a secure compassionate family manIt can't be all one way, or the other nor can it be completely equal. In this area, TRUST and respect matter more than any other. There's bound to be an impasse, no matter what you do. It's those times when one of you HAS to make the decision they feel is best and the other one has to TRUST in that decision and abide by it. You give the power to decide to your spouse, even if you don't agree with it. This isn't so hard to do if you TRUST your spouse to keep your family's best interest in mind. You don't have to agree with his or her decision, but you DO have to trust that s/he is making a fair and just decision. For example, we helped a family member this year with a huge project she needed a ravine cleared of trees, culverts installed, and the whole thing filled in. This required extensive use of a backhoe, chainsaws, crew to help, wear and tear on our equipment and vehicles, risk to life and limb, and $$$MONEY$$$ which neither of us had just lying around. I was deeply afraid for our budget, and argued for the project to be delayed until she could pay for it, or just abandoned (it wasn't a necessity). I could not where we'd get the money. I relented to DH, because I trusted him. And even if the project failed or went bust, I knew he would never risk our own welfare to complete it. Each week, we scrambled to find money for one part or another. We got through it, the job is 70% finished and hold for the, and didn't drive us to the poorhouse, we still eat quite well and stay warm and dry. There are other areas in which DH bends to my, too, even though he disagrees such as maintaining what we need for the house, computer equipment, and managing the weekly budget. It has worked out that he's in charge of the big decisions, and I keep all the mountains of little ones at bay so they don't become big ones. It's a workable balance of power. I don't intrude on his areas of expertise (seeing the bigger picture and planning for the future), and he doesn't intrude on mine (attentiveness to detail, keeping the machine oiled and running smoothly). One reason this works is because we know that trust is earned, not blindly given. We don't just do whatever the hell we want, because we know making a wrong move could damage trust. married people dating
looking for sex Princeton so days and days of kittens and puppies are thrown off balance by a few pix on one day of notcuteponies? it has nothing to do with a lack of responsibility. i would never slander my comrades thusly. i try to stick with, recipes and for the rest of the day, lest i tip the balance of the forum into despair in an effort for dialogue, sharing. married looking to be slightly crappy
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