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And if I feel like they are indulging me I would struggle, because I associate indulgence with a lack of enjoyment on the part of the partner indulging. That's completely unfounded I think, but is how I feel about it. But if he is giving me an experience (and I'm aware it be a bit tough to pull off for him), and I am enjoying it, we are learning something new within it, he is enjoying just flexing a different muscle..that's different. When articulating indulgence I view it as timing. If you are still indulging during the act then I dunno you haven't found a way to invest in it to glean some of your own enjoyment out of it. I agree there are things I would explore with my partner that I might feel like I would be gifting to them (cumbersome language there) but I always find a way to be invested in that venture. It just isn't in my person to not view kink or intimacy as a fused experience before it even begins. looking for model friendship
Like txsmiley, I think it’s possible this could be true and the only advice I could possible give is to break up but I know that’s not what OP wants., your relationship sounds dangerous. I truly fear for your safety and I would like you to take a step back and look at your relationship as if you were someone looking in. It’s easy to assume someone loves you because they constantly buy you things and take care of you financially, but that doesn’t always mean they have your best interest in mind. It looks as if you are more of an to him, rather than a partner. He hurts you during intimate moments then wants to punish you when you criticize it. From my view, and probably everyone else’s, you look more like a pet than a partner. You buy food and provide shelter for a dog then cage it when it pisses on the floor. Why does your relationship sound so familiar to that? dabsexsea still seeking1. She said she likes his "carefree-free demeanor" because she knows you aren't that way and you view that as a flaw in yourself. Basiy, she's kicking you where it hurts. 2. She just had stared down a potential death. That effected her. She is probably questioning her life as a whole. 3. You need to confront the fact that she already be out of the relationship; maybe not physiy, but emotionally. 4. Anytime a wife is looking for the husband to "pay more attention" it is because she feels neglected. You not realize this because she, obviously, has a hard time expressing herself to you. 5. She (and you) are accustomed to a certain way of interacting. She wants you to be around more but when you are you get on her nerves because she has come to think of the home as "her domain." Then you are there wanting to turn down the music, turn down the heat, turn off the lights, etc. It pisses women off. She wants you there but at the same time she's gotten so used to being on her own that she's forgotten how to share. I this whole scenario "re-entry." I, too, am wound. My husband has always spent a lot of time doing his own thing and I never wanted to say anything because I wanted him to enjoy his life. In the meantime, I hated mine. The few times I did say something, he did what he wanted anyway because (I think) he was confused. You need to a therapist who specializes in couple communication. Sounds to me like she was raised in a male dominant household and have not been able to speak her mind all these years. I, certainly, could be wrong, but usually women who are hesitant to negotiate limits with their husbands, and state their needs, feel that they are beholden in some way to their husband and that they are responsible for the -'s happiness to the exclusion of their own. japanese women dating
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