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First, thanks to all for your advice and suggestions. I have, a few times, given her a certificate for a "day at the spa", and think it's time to do it again. As someone here suggested, I do think there maybe a problem with depression. As previously mentioned,it's very diffifult to talk to her about any of this, because she gets defensive and angry quickly. Someone suggested I offer to bathe her, paint her toes, trim her pubes, etc, and I have done that. Rented the hotel room, bought some flowers for her, a nice robe, but she wanted no part of the toe painting or bush-trimming. So it goes As far as the double standard if she asked me to shave my armpits, legs and pubes, yeah, I would. Why not? I'm a believer in accomodating your lovers' wishes. Someone asked about the sex, and it is non-existant for the most part. But again, thanks to all for the advice. I'm going to re-read some of the posts and if I can find a way to make her feel good aboout herself looking for a bday present for hubbyWhether you're a lesbian or not, you loved, and suffered a heartbreak. So, my advice? Extend the obvious care you have for your patients toward yourself. After two years, you should be able to move on. And diving into a bottle isn't for you, especially as a way to kill the pain. The pain fade. Try focusing on something, something that nurtures you. Something that's always made you feel better, or something new. Or lots of new things! Working out at the gym does wonders for me. Even walking try a new park in your city every day after work. Or begin a new creative venture, teach yourself to paint, or go listen to music, some. These things feed the soul, and eventually can heal it. Do you have friends you can talk with? Perhaps counseling? There are also GLBT organizations that have support groups and counseling available. Maybe separating your feelings for this woman from any confusion you feel over your sexuality would help. male sex toys
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