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actually. I know that lately there's been a bit more tension, and thus a few more "dust ups" than normal, but it's all a part of interacting in a community. The way I it a person has two options when one occurs: getting involved in the negativity that such discussions usually devolve into; or abstaining from responding. If you should choose option one, and go in with the mindset of peacemaking, you really are setting yourself up for failure, because I've noticed that when people get heated about things, the "innocent" bystanders sometimes get flamed too. (And I'm not just talking about here, it happens in life all the time). People do interact in a negative fashion (. fight) from time to time. It's human nature. For me, it's not worth it to get involved most of the time. I don't need the additional negativity in my direction, I get quite enough of that in my life already. It's not my responsibility to be a mediator. If you choose option two, you can sit back and watch, and think "this is the third time in a couple of months that so-and-so has had a hair trigger for what seems like no good reason, wonder if something's up", and you can 'em. Or, you can that this is the fourth time that so-and-so has done this exact same thing, and you can form a better picture of what this person's really like. I guess a big part of it, is seeing time and again, what should be a discussion turn into an argument because a poster decides this would be a *great* time to start with personal attacks. I know how hard it is to not just turn around and go "oh yeah? well you're a nambypantsed ass too" or whatever. Some people try to keep it civil, while the poster continues to do the same thing over and over again. Eventually, a person just gives up and civility and respect fly straight out the window. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the fo' is not responsible for the baggage each person comes with. It's that person's responsibility to deal with it in an appropriate manner. We can only be so sensitive and understanding about things, before everything becomes a no-go topic and we're left discussing unicorns every. single. day. been so long i have no mature adult horneymen not asking to have their support modified at the right time not understanding the legal system and being broke is a horrible combination. Men don't like to ask direction, so normally they just show up in court asking for a modification they might bring proof of their income, they might not but either way asking in court for a modification won't work unless the men FILE PAPERWORK. Unfortunately, most men don't know that they have to FILE PAPERWORK. The DA's office doesn't tell them to get it modified. They are defending the womans interest. Thats my point the DA's office and support division SHOULD be after BOTH having support set at the ACTUAL amount that dad is bringing in, AND getting that support from the non custodial parent. A bringing in /month shouldn't have a /month support payment. BUT because mom has a free attorney representing her interests she has all of the paperwork to get the money filed properly because dad is too broke to pay his support, he can't afford to pay an attorney, and he is not educated enough to properly defend himself. If you are poor and your income just dropped below /month you can't afford to lawyer up. The state pays for the Custodial parent to have a lawyer its not really % fair. horny moms
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