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There is no one issue. It's a lot of little issues feeding each other from both of you around and around until it sucks up the energy in the marriage that would otherwise be used for sex. It's not about the issues. It's about the energy. When you're new and in you put a lot of energy into the other person and the sexual relationship flourishes. When you're married for years and years all the little things take up the energy. He's mad because she won't have sex, she's mad because he doesn't do the dishes, he's mad because she doesn't cook and clean like his mom did, she's mad because she works full time and he doesn't pull his weight at home, he's mad because why can't a guy chill out and watch the game with a blowjob and a beer once in a while, she's mad because all he wants is sex and what about HER needs, and nag nag nag pull pull pull the whole relationship gets sucked up in these negative cycles. I read lilstorm's thread too and I felt bad for both of them. You can't blame the husband he's obviously very frustrated and is blaming her for things. You can't blame lilstorm either: just because she's venting a lot of anger and hurt here doesn't mean she doesn't have good points of her own. The only way to kill these cycles is proactively. Stop acknowledging the negative energy, just acknowledge it but don't respond to it with defense or a whole lot of discussion. don't go after your wife with a bunch of whining about not having had sex in over 2 months. Too bad, so sad. There are better things to be spending your life on. Then, start being proactive with the positive energy. the positive of it: you're, and alive. If lack of sex is your biggest problem, life is good for you. Show that appreciation. Exude the gratitude not for what she doesn't do but for what she does. Show her you appreciate her sexually with a naughty comment or a on the butt every now and then, but try not to do it in a demanding or passive way. Eventually, she start responding in kind. And eventually, the negativity just die out. When the negativity's no longer feeding itself in a vicious cycle, the return and she'll be frisky for you again. woman for sex PloverI am very fulfilled by him intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and more. Our personal lives and finances are so entirely intertwined that they are one (especially in the current economic state). There are no however so that's a blessing in this type of situation! When we first got together and even were married, our sex life was extremely fulfilling as well. He would approach with new ideas and kinks and was extremely willing when I came to him with my own. Little did I know about this second life but none the less this type of thing was a non-issue until his addictions and infidelities were discovered. I feel attraction to him was founded in all the right places. I feel I've been really understanding and patient with any kink and willing to put "harder stuff" on the back burner but two years later and he's not even excited for a blowjob in which I tell him to just lay back and enjoy?! Everything I've known, experienced and been told is completely contrary to this. I hear that you are at a loss for advisory words but I really appreciate your response. Do you think perhaps a similar approach of someone introducing a foreign kink to a hesitant lover could be applicable here? Not that I'm even sure that that's very different from simple adult communication (I've never had a hesitant lover)! free adult sex chat
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