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Today started off excellent, and then I had to my separated wife of 5-6 weeks. Now I’m having really strong mixed emotions. After not seeing my wife for weeks, I had to meet and exchange money, vehicle, and sign a post-nuptial. Prior to this separation she was “going downhill” fast from drinking, smoking, probably taking pills. She was one of the most attractive women you’ve ever seen and still very attractive one year ago. She is not “old” (49). All our friends and family around that age are still active and. Today I barely recognized her. She gained weight, was dressed nice, but smelled like booze, her skin is all of the sudden wrinkling like crazy and changing color (smoking and drinking, liver). She is destroying herself physiy and emotionally. I know that it's best for me to get away from this toxic LTR. I was doing fine until I had to her. Sitting right next to her I asked myself, “Who is this person?” I didn’t feel the I ALWAYS feel towards her. I didn’t feel the attraction I ALWAYS have. The person I knew is gone. What a horrible ill feeling. Maybe we fall out of, but I know it’s not all me. I spoke to our neighbor who ran into her about 2 months ago and didn’t recognize her. The family doctor has told her this is a bad path. I have been to two therapists trying to make the marriage work and along with the family doctor; they all say it’s time for me to “throw in the towel.” “She’s not going to get better”. “You can’t fix this!” Everyone is seeing this rapid change too. Over time, regardless of changes, I have always loved my wife and cared for her. Even on her worst day I was very much attracted to her. What has happened? After today it feels like, “OMG my wife died!” I have determined that I should just let this night pass before I allow too emotions to overwhelm me. I’m trying, but this is tough and could use some advice on feeling better. Words of wisdom please; Thanks! seeking to meet up today
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