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who is giving you negative ratings. You have a tremendous amount of insight and have read quite clearly between the lines. I didn't want to air all of the relationship dirty laundry right away, because I kinda wanted to get a sense how much of a strain I put on the relationship and what of our issues I should feel responsible for. There are definitely some good and valid points in defense of his point of view, and I needed to hear them from someone besides him. But yeah, its deeper than I've briefly summarized. I like honesty, even if it's brutal and I believe we should be with people we trust. He accepted it when I told him I would no longer talk to my ex, but I think he had his doubts about me at that point. Rather than confronting them or leaving me, some months later he cheated on me. With one of his ex's, no less. She emailed him out of the blue and you know how the story ends. (There's a BIG difference to me between an ex who is a regular, loyal friend, and those who /- out of the blue. I don't categorize them as being in your circle of friends, even if theres no bad blood. I get those s too, and I politely tell them that I'm in a relationship, you next lifetime) Up until he cheated, he was always jealous of something looking at that too hard, why are my jeans so tight?, I'm too friendly with guys, etc. I know now that was him projecting his thoughts onto me. FYI, Im a really tomboyish girl, gym shoes and jeans, and I don't own a shirt that shows cleavage. By most people's standards, I'm modest for a ish attractive woman. SO was definitely insecure before he got to me. I don't feel that is the path to a relationship. yes, this issue be the straw that caused our relationship to end. He hasnt had serious relationships, but I thought our friendship was the ultimate basis for a good relationship, so I tried to understand and forgive he begged for another, proposed and all (of course with no ring) I said I need time to trust him again. He has been inconsistent since. As I said in another post, talking to my ex/friend is not revenge but a matter of, "Why should I be bending to YOUR wishes and you're not even honest with me?" I know this might not be the right thing to do for our relationship. I want him to go to therapy with me but he wont desperately seeking enfj
Here’s a little story I made just for fun…. Sort of a ‘communing with nature’ story. I’d like to take you for a walk in the woods on a clear, crisp fall day. It’s about 55 outside and in the clear air you can forever. The trees are mainly evergreens, pines and spruce with some scattered birch and poplar, and the air smells like each little breeze has blown through every bough. The is high in the sky, warming us slightly whenever we’re not in shadow. We’re dressed comfortably – jeans and sweatshirt for me; jeans, light cotton shirt and jacket for you. The trail we’re following meanders through thick woods, skirts a swamp on one side and eventually leads to a large grassy hillside. The warms us. I’m already warm I’ve been following you as we walk, watching your hips sway with each step. I’ve been anticipating this very moment. I suggest that we take a break here on the hillside in the. We walk over to a large stump, about feet across and two feet high. The perfect size for us to sit and rest our backs against. We sit, and I’m again amazed at your, your economy of movement and my pure, dumb-blind luck at being here with you today. I have plans for you, but for the moment we simply share a bottle of water and watch an circling over the creek below. I mention something about being warm – I truly am – and you agree and ask me to assist in removing your jacket. Not a seductive request, just a “would you hold the cuff while I pull my arm out” request. I comply, and can’t stop myself from telling you how beautiful you look here on my hillside. “Your hillside?”, you ask. This is a national we’re in, after all. I explain that this was one of my favorite hunting spots back when I hunted more often. i want passion and friendshipMy wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was. She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was. She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles. "Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything. The small stuff. Your porn, baseball, the bar, your X-Box. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you never have room for the things that are truly most important." I was dumbfounded. Where the hell is she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich, dammit? dating and relationships
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