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DH needs a reality check. Either you're on the same with co-parenting, or this thing isn't gonna work out over the haul. No, his aren't little demons, but they're not little angels, either. Good parents step up to the plate and take their to task when they misbehave. It's time to level the playing field. You're their stepmother, not their BBsitter. They're welcome in your home, but like all homes, there are rules. You have every right to set them and enforce them. Keep in mind that when boys get into late adolescence, it's not unusual for them to crave more time with their Dads. With the family dynamics in your household, that urge only become stronger. I can promise you that if he packs up his things and leaves, just to get away from all the BS, you never look at DH the same again. Tell him that. When you negotiate this thing, make sure he realizes that if you not allow your to feel squeezed out. He is a member of the household. DH needs to respect that, and *model* that respect to his. Tell that of yours that if he doesn't take this matter seriously, your resentment build to the point that the marriage fail. And you don't intend to around and watch it play out. girls looking in Burnt Store Marinar. Punishment is rigged an an attempt to change behavior. Works with some, doesn't with others. Of course you don't let a wander into traffic. That's where a parent would intervene because the logical consequences of the action are too severe. Maybe the logical consequence of that action is the can no longer be outside without the parent, or the must hold Mommy's hand, etc., etc. A random whack on the ass for wandering into traffic is like smacking a dog for coming back to you after it ran away. WTF is the message? Maybe the logical consequences of throwing your dinner plate down are no dinner. Or you have to clean up the mess before you can do anythign. Or depending on the age, maybe that is too harsh. Maybe Mom or Dad feeds you the dinner until you can be trutsed to care for your own plate. Logical consequences are scaleable to the age. Logical consequences (and never do for a what he can do for himself) actually gets to function as members of society much faster than anything. I'm not saying that parents never scold. People get pissed and upset and their tempers flare. That's kind of a logical consequence too. But to carve out "I'm going to yell at you as punishment" or "I'm going to beat your ass as punishment for this" is arbitrary and not very logical. And not very portable. Hmmm,,Mom yells when I do wrong, Dad whips my ass I wonder what this person does. And this person. And this person. black magic woman
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