Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array horny wome in JorloseGet you off now Curious guy in hotel room.Want a very fit guy who is clean and discreet..you get off and leave no talking. Courtyard on Carrier Circle. casual sex Pocahontas horny grannies
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i've spent hours, on afternoons sittin in that unbelievably sexy e55 in the showroom. doesn't mean i'm any closer to driving it out of there. (although i'm familiar with where the key locker is, and how the storefront doors open, and the hours of opperation, and the security detail, and the sentencing laws for GTA in WA but i digress.) i'm trying to help you, not him cuz he's not here asking for help with his "situation." if the guy likes you that much and still doesn't have the balls to end his current relationship where does it leave you? more likely, he just isn't convinced that leaving his 'other' for you is the right thing to do. but and this is big as as you're willing to let him do both, he's not going to change it. if what you have, is not what you want YOU need to change it. you CANNOT force him to you more. you CANNOT force him to want to be with you more. he you 'some,' and he want to be with you 'some,' but obviously as is told by his current pillow dent, he doesn't want it bad enough to JUST be with you. if YOU don't want to share him, tell him you want to be friends and consign yourself to the heartache you've already earned (vs the greater heartache you could go through if you stick around for another 2 years and nothing changes.) ultimatum? makes it easier for him to drop you. just tell him that this isn't what's best for you, and you'd like to be friends, and you're going to open yourself up to other relationships. or keep doing what your doing ? nsa sex 62702 AltynkanWhy is it in Northern Michigan so total queer and out guys claim to be Bisexual and then after conversation not only do you find they never touched a woman but if you wait enough you hear those silly assed comments like ""ewwwww pussy is nasty"" or "" Tuna is gross" meaning the are not only totally but are super fags. Then I so guys claim to be straight but only sleep with guys. WTF? Doesn't this make dating in the Bi-world difficult? Then sometimes you even guys who claim to be Bi-sexual but never touched a guy all their lives. Am I confused? or are they? I am Bi-Curious and feel I am lost as to figure out to have a male experience without driving the fucking highways with stupid rainbow stickers all over my car and wearing fucking pink. My Color is Camo, not Pink, I am more confortable bow hunting than doing my hair. get the picture? In the morning I strap on a Glock to go to work, not an ensemble or fucking accessory . If anything on me is an accessory it's the Laser sights on my Glock.. HELP! sex chat online free
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