Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array looking for casual fbWanting to grow with someone I am looking for someone who we can grow together. I enjoy many different things. Camping, , football, baseball, swimming or just hanging out. I am a smaller who likes chubby men. Please be age appropriate 48 to 57. I am at heart and willing to try anything once. Must love to laugh and hold a conversation. I am a social drinker and smoker Please send a if this sounds interesting to you. Put your favorite sport in the subject line. Please be mature enough to be able to tell the truth. Not into. Very straightforward and independent. Animal lover Dorgali nude girls nsa relationship
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Looking for my better half This isn't my first time doing this so I know exactly what I'm looking for from the guys that I have met in the past. I met a few great guys but nothing was permanent so that's why I'm back! If your not looking for what I'm looking for then please do us both a favor and don't respond. No need to waste our time! Here is what I'm looking for: -nobody younger than because Iam not friendly with either) -non user -prefer non-drinker but as long as it isn't often that's cool are ok but no more than 3 if they are small -someone who sort of a night owl but not a must -someone that loves to laugh, jokes, and talk shit -no heavy partiers as Iam not a partier at all -tattoos and piercings are ok -must be able to take things slow at first -prefers someone who isn't African American like myself because Iam interested in getting to know more about the different cultures around me. And PS I don't have anything against African American men! I was married to one for a long time and no he didn't turn me off black guys if you were wondering -no dominant guys because Iam by all means no "yes" women. I have a mind of my own and don't have a problem with letting you know what's on it -you must send a with your response ( if any) and please no nudes. I am actually interested in face pictures if you can believe that. I could care less what your body looks like as stated above. Or you get no response! Please make sure you put "Too Cool" in the subject line! I look forward to hopefully finding FINALLY what I'm looking for! nude women around Seattle WashingtonIts Monday Hey anyone wanna stress releaser. You must host. Let me know as soon as possible before my day is full. I am a hot single mom. Palmas erotic personals all free dating
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