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My gf, has gained weight a bit, and so have I. I've asked her if she feels, and she says sometimes. She told me that shes really insecure about her weight. I have explained to her that its just a number and I her inside and out for who she is, what she does, and what she looks like. There's no changing that. I have been here, even when I should have left. And I don't hold that against her either. She knows that. I have forgiven her, I have pampered her, I have given MY all, maybe not a constant % of the time, because I was weak too, but I tried, and obviously I still am. When we are around others, I get really irritated because that's THE ONLY TIME THAT I GET AFFECTION out of her. She hold my hand in the store, around people, etc (I think to like "own" me) but not at home or when we are alone. So there is no affection coming from her. I kiss her, hug her when she gets home, ask her about her day. I try to hold her hand while she watches tv. I ask if I can help with anything, I mostly try to do everything so she doesn't have to worry about it, since she works and I'm not. I write her notes letters nearly everyday. I always tell her how beautiful she is, how thankful I am. I tell her how I feel about us, and etc. I make her pictures on paint and put them on her computer background. I make her cards leave them out before she goes to work. I take a shower, get my sexy outfits on and lay in bed, wait for her, and its like a slap in the face, "I dont feel like it," "Im tired," "Ugh, I feel nasty." Its always something. And its let my self confidence go down also. I ask her to communicate more with her feelings, not what she thinks I want to hear, bc I think she does that alot. I am very patient with her. I've tried almost everything. kinda horny but cant host
drinking the Kool-Aid. at the Jonestown massacre, Jones had all the people in his cult drink Kool-Aid laced with poison. It was a mass suicide.. So when someone follows something blindly they say they are drinking the Kool-Aid. sbm seeking swf or sbfinfact quite the opposite.. they have lots of control, strenght and power. any GOOD Dom knows his respects this, and as as I said before looks at the big picture and puts the needs and saftey of their partners 9sub or not) at the fore front. Sound like an oxy moron right? well you cant beat someone with a paddle, or demand them to do something with yout knowing limitations, where true harm lies. you have to think for every step of the way, and give after care. Being with a sub is not about them being ordered around and surendering control and power, as much as i is about them being WILLING to be ordered around by you. You stated your partner said in a fight you are just rom mates. well people say things in anger. and it sounds like you guys fight often. She told you she didnt want you kissin her butt, yet you did, and she told you off again. Not a god Dom action. again you are asking the woman you met to conform to an ideal she is not willing to. This is not a new situation.. You knew her before she got knocked up I think its selfish of you to expect her change herself just cuz you want her to. You show the short mindedness, the lack of thought, and lack of true concern for a partner let alone a sub to have any sub feel safe with you. I can honestly hear the echos of any subs in this forum running for the hills. I mean if you cant make up your mind on this, how can they trust you with their safety, their body, heart, soul, life??!! You dont need another partner.. you need to step back and fix yourself and figure out whats truly important before bringing yet another life in to the mess. and it dont matter if its the mental illusion of cheating or doing its actually doing the deed.. your heart and mind is not in the right spot to pull it off without it leading to drama in the future. seriously get help.. meet local swingers
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