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I have been separated from my STBX for a little over 6 months. Divorce in is the works, but these things take time (a lot more time than most of us would like, lol!) I am feeling kind of down and lonely this holiday, thinking of how this Christmas I won't be with my on Christmas morning (PLEASE don't start with the 'kid-owner' crap, I didn't have with any of you difo-ers, when the ex and I discuss our, they are referred to as OUR, and sometimes the.) My problem is this, when the heck people STOP telling me that I be 'happier' once I find someone new? I don't WANT someone new (or old,) I just want to be left alone!! Of course I am going to be lonely, I haven't been alone for 8 yrs! There is nothing wrong with being single, and single people live happy lives (I and assume), so what is the deal with everyone thinking that a new SO is some magic cure for divorce/separation? Do these people NOT realize that if I were to enter into any kind of relationship right now it would most likely be doomed to failure? Plus, I have just been burned, so why in the world would I want to get anywhere NEAR any 'fires'? What do I say to these well meaning crazies? I don't want to be rude, or hurt feelings or anything, but sometimes I want to scream at them that they must be F-ing insane if they think I should go out and hunt up a new fling. I almost felt sorry for my BF the other day she told me 'don't worry, you'll meet someone -' and I yelled at her 'I don't want to meet anyone, anytime!' she just said 'oh, well, ummm, how are the?' I am sure that was not the best way to address the situation, lol, so here I am asking for NICE advice from a forum where not ppl appear to be that nice, so I must be stupid, but I don't know who to ask! One other thing, how DOES one meet new friends, if one happens to be broke all the time and have very little 'free time'? horney women 19103 nsWe all need therapy. The question for you is what kind of therapy do you need. Therapy comes in forms, not just from Therapists and other professionals. It sounds like you have already given yourself a good amount of therapy. Therapy can also come from friends, family, co-workers, even strangers (like this discussion forum). So ultimately it is up to you as to whether or not you think a trained professional service help you more. But for how you feel sounds right in line with what to be expected. I for one was married over 19 years only to be completely crushed in the end. No matter how you are together, to be in with someone that is not in with you well let me just say it is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. It has been over 2 years now. I often wonder whether or not I find anyone. Whether I allow myself to feel that way about anyone. So not much sound advice, but what you are going thru and feeling is to be expected. If you think talking to a therapist would be helpful then do so. But ultimately they do not have any magic secrets to make this go any faster. Everyone's time to recover is different. divorced wants
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