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need x gf advice but I don't think you're on the path to really healing yourself, which you need to do first before you can give freely in any relationship. Right now you don't give freely you need freely. You have a hard road to climb in front of you. Your ego is not only massive, it's incredibly sensitive. It's like an infant. All an infant wants is to have its needs met that's it. They are totally incapable of freely giving of themselves they don't know how. They aren't equipped. You need to grow up, honestly. Whatever happened in your past you need to allow the feelings that surround it to die. Maybe you even need to force their death. They're keeping you a prisoner and hindering your growth. They're keeping you from experiencing the coolness of having a best friend in your lover. You need to wake up to the fact that you are living in a dream state that your behavior with this woman is not only unacceptable, it's infantile. Where is your integrity? Where is your dignity? Where is your masculinity? You can turn yourself into any image (character wise) of yourself that you choose. Are you happy being so needy? Hell no you aren't. I imagine part of you is intensely disappointed with your behavior. So change it. Get mad at yourself. Admonish yourself and force yourself to start behaving differently. It's your mind, your thoughts, your body, your actions. Snap out of it.
702 relax make a friend then start planning it now. You pull yourself out of this by making a plan, figuring out the steps, saving some money, and setting things into motion. Maybe you decide to be FWB, maybe not; but if you do, and you even suspect he's a cheater, be meticulous about protection. You're in your 50's. My mother died with my father was in his early 80's. He remarried, and he and his new wife had a blast going to new restaurants, casinos, auctions. I believe he had more fun the last few years of his life than he'd had throughout the rest of his lifetime. Dad would you a youngster, so don't let the number intimidate you. This guy be a stud, but an attractive, successful, intelligent woman like you won't have any trouble finding sex and companionship. Remember, you were looking for a guy when you found this one. And shouldn't cause you pain.
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