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I essentially said this to my therapist once. She asked me why I would have sex with my (now ex) if I wasn't in the mood. She was concerned it was because I felt obligated or pressured but I told her it was because I wanted him to be happy. That I wanted him to feel loved and I knew that was the way HE liked to be showed it. At first she looked at me little perplexed but I'm betting her husband got some that night. Just a reminder, girls DO NOT necessarily measure the happiness/- in a relationship by the frequency of sex but I think guys tend to. I do think it shows a lack of consideration for your spouses feelings (of either sex) to make them go without. livin girl having sex on pornit does not appear you have spoken with him how that phrase affects you; because of the way you and most people would interpret it. placing myself in his shoes, i can a couple of ways, that are not reflective of you personally, but how he sees things. some people, not, were raised in a guilt filled environment. they feel they are not worthy of the good things in their life. we only hear the words, but a better measure of a person is their actions. do you feel loved? i don't mean by his words, but is he considerate in the small everyday things/actions? is there a cultural aspect you have underestimated or overlooked? our culture sees this behavior differently than another. modesty is seen as a virtue by some cultures but is as a sign of weakness in ours even though we say otherwise. could your own possible feelings of insecurity only have magnified his words as you interpret them. well you can go by how some interpret (projecting their own bias) this, which only feed into your preexisting fears. if you can not broach this with your bf then this relationship is doomed anyway but not by what you thought/imagined the problem as. what do we know? we only what you tell us and that is highly colored by your own imagined fears. black online dating services
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