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Weird thing about life is that a lot of us face the same thing but our individuality makes it all unique. I've been in your position and your boyfriends. Now everyone has already said 'have the talk' and start being truthful. I agree with them, to a point. The experience is showing you this isn't going to go away, it's going to fester and nag at you perhaps eventually overtake you. When that happens well that's what happens when something 'oh, I didn't really plan this it just happened' um, happens. You WANT some affair to be out of your character but here you are thinking about it. I think you hit the nail on the head and you're very accurate when you said you were searching for the least offensive truth. It's hard to connect with someone when that's going on and it sounds like it's been there from the start. You two were never really open to each other sexually and protected the fragile ego in order to not sacrifice the budding relationship. I also can that you two and in short order I might add.. let this relationship just slide onto the back burner. Creative aspirations, friendships and 'networking' (is that code for fucking?) have taken the lead. That's a LOT of shared responsibility there. I think the most damning thing you've written though is that you no longer feel attracted to him. I'm not sure exactly why but a sexual mismatch paired with you seeing a weaker side of him would be a powerful birth control device. Mix in the protection and I'm not seeing a whole lotta fuckin' in your future. All I can say is that when I was in your position I was able to get it back only the spark was something lost, not never had been. There was no 'talk', there was introspection. We had changed physiy over the years, wife had gained quite a bit of weight and I wasn't as attracted to her. LOVED her to death, just no wow factor. I thought and yes sometimes hard on what it was that I really loved about her. Thought about what we did and how we connected at that time that time when it was good. I tapped into that. Well, it worked for ME and my wife, well she became like you and we never had 'the talk'. There were some conversations but it was filled with code..searching for the least offensive truth. women lookin for sex LanghorneMy gf, has gained weight a bit, and so have I. I've asked her if she feels, and she says sometimes. She told me that shes really insecure about her weight. I have explained to her that its just a number and I her inside and out for who she is, what she does, and what she looks like. There's no changing that. I have been here, even when I should have left. And I don't hold that against her either. She knows that. I have forgiven her, I have pampered her, I have given MY all, maybe not a constant % of the time, because I was weak too, but I tried, and obviously I still am. When we are around others, I get really irritated because that's THE ONLY TIME THAT I GET AFFECTION out of her. She hold my hand in the store, around people, etc (I think to like "own" me) but not at home or when we are alone. So there is no affection coming from her. I kiss her, hug her when she gets home, ask her about her day. I try to hold her hand while she watches tv. I ask if I can help with anything, I mostly try to do everything so she doesn't have to worry about it, since she works and I'm not. I write her notes letters nearly everyday. I always tell her how beautiful she is, how thankful I am. I tell her how I feel about us, and etc. I make her pictures on paint and put them on her computer background. I make her cards leave them out before she goes to work. I take a shower, get my sexy outfits on and lay in bed, wait for her, and its like a slap in the face, "I dont feel like it," "Im tired," "Ugh, I feel nasty." Its always something. And its let my self confidence go down also. I ask her to communicate more with her feelings, not what she thinks I want to hear, bc I think she does that alot. I am very patient with her. I've tried almost everything. single white female
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