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The narcissist lacks empathy. Consequently, he is not really interested in the lives, emotions, needs, preferences, and hopes of people around him. Even his nearest and dearest are, to him, mere instruments of gratification. They require his undivided attention only when they "malfunction" when they become disobedient, independent, or critical. He loses all interest in them if they cannot be "fixed" (for instance, when they are terminally ill). People find the narcissist "cold", "inhuman", "heartless", "clueless", "robotic or machine-like". Early on in life, the narcissist learns to disguise his socially-unacceptable indifference as benevolence, equanimity, cool-headedness, composure, or superiority. "It is not that I don't care about others" he shrugs off his critics "I am simply more level-headed, more resilient, more composed under pressure They mistake my equanimity for apathy." The narcissist tries to convince people that he is compassionate. His profound lack of interest in his spouse's life, vocation, interests, hobbies, and whereabouts he cloaks as benevolent altruism. "I give her all the freedom she can wish for!" he protests "I don't spy on her, follow her, or nag her with endless questions. I don't bother her. I let her lead her life the way she sees fit and don't interfere in her affairs!". He makes a virtue out of his emotional truancy. All very commendable but when taken to extremes such benign neglect turns malignant and signifies the voidance of true and attachment. The narcissist's emotional (and, often, physical) absence from all his relationships is a form of aggression and a defense against his own thoroughly repressed feelings. In rare moments of self-awareness, the narcissist realizes that without his input even in the form of feigned emotions people abandon him. He then swings from cruel aloofness to maudlin and grandiose gestures intended to demonstrate the "larger than life" nature of his sentiments. This bizarre pendulum only proves the narcissist's inadequacy at maintaining adult relationships. It convinces no one and repels. Greenwich open air sex some body1. Top 40 stuff on radio. I want to get Gaga's cd, everytime I hear Paparazzi, I put it on loud in the car and sing along. 2. Books? Magazines? .I picked up free Divorce magazine from market the other day. Oh, wait, I am reading the Spy to my daughter at bedtime. We are half-way through. 3. Having come back from visiting grandparents in old country, my dad had moved and we were living in a new neighborhood and we had just arrived the weekend before school. I was starting , in a new school, no friends, forgot most of my english briefly. So I didn't speak to anyone. I'd just stare. After 2 weeks, they tested my hearing because I think they thought I was deaf. Later, I was placed in the lower level with 3 guys and as the year went on our group started to do well and the teacher got curious. I was helping them and they cheated a bit off my papers, but I got bumped up to other level eventually. The teacher was really nice and kept a look out for me after that and she took extra time for several months afterschool to teach me fractions too. married and dating
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