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but to those that judged me: i do admit that i am a spoiled girl. but i never take advantage of my dates. in fact, i am the opposite of a demanding girl. i have a nice life of my own and i've always been able to spoil myself with or without men. if there was one thing i wanted a guy to provide for me that i can't on my own, it's just companionship and commitment. that being said, i do enjoy when my dates go out of his way to treat me like a while i am too, a generous girl. it's not about the gifts,money or 's about the effort a guy puts in for me. and i know and am able to reciprocate with thoughtful gifts and doing nice things for him too. he has also showed no signs of being a player. always supporting me in everything i do, and telling me he'd be a great father someday, how he thinks my parents are so lucky to have a daughter like me..and how he admires his dad blablabla.. it became very hard for me to believe a guy like him could be an asshole :( when he broke up with me,i continued to care for him hoping it change his mind. i wanted to prove that i am a good gf and that i can make his life better. if i acted desperate, it was because i truly wanted something more meaningful with him. i cut him off when i didn't want to be hurt everyday anymore:( but he refused and told me he always be my friend. i disagreed, but he never stopped inviting me out for innocent activities. and i slowly started talking to him like b4. when i agreed to out more often again, it was partly out of curiosity, because it has been a year and i wanted to know if i have really moved on. or even just to prove to myself whether he really cares for me as a friend, or he's an asshole and i should hate him. yet i realized i still have so much feelings for him. I started being nice to him again, even agreeing to design his place free(i'm an interior designer) a part of me just want him to remember me as a girl that did her best, if we were to never talk to each other again after this. as i force myself to move on. i do admit that i am selfish for doing this to my current date. but we are all selfish when it comes to. my can't decide what my heart chooses. my current date doesn't make my heart beat the same way..although his and kindness is slowly healing me. it still doesn't feel the same way :( i don't get any "butterflies". lesbians in the militaryI met my husband 5 years ago and we got married over a year ago. I have done nothing but help him and be there for him mentally, emotionally and financially. In return I keep getting left behind like a toy on a shelf. He only comes around when he sees fit and then has the nerve to say he is taking care of me. I have been an independent woman practiy all of my life and when we got married we were supposed to start trucking together and making a life together. Instead that hasn't happened and he has since stopped telling about the business we are supposed to be starting together and decided to include his sons, who are also truckers, instead of me. About 6 months ago when it looked like things were going to take off and we bought our first rig, I left my company driving job to go with him. Sadly that didn't happen and he has been leaving me with my family and only coming around once in a while to visit and hardly ever sends me money to even live on. I decided that since he is acting this way, it is time for me to walk away and start my life over again since he obviously doesn't want to be with me. I'm big on being a person that stands behind my words and he apparently doesn't feel he has to do the same thing. He claims to me and that he's doing all this for me, but yet he still doesn't support me or devote the time to our marriage like a normal person would. I'm not wrong for feeling the way I'm feeling Am I? get laid
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