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about 6 months ago i moved in with a friend of mine whom i've had a crush on for some time. i knew it was a bad idea from the start, you just don't move in with a crush. he's straight, which makes this more difficult. but as of recent, i catch him leaning against me, gently, pushing his knee against mine. on occaision he rests his head on my shoulder when i'm leaning against the banister with his arm around me. he loves to wrestle around when we're drunk but when we wrestle around i feel his grip or 'hug' become more relaxed, or sensual. there's been numerous occaisions where's he's just held me for a minute. i don't know how quite to describe what he does but i feel an intimacy in him. on repeated occaisions he's fallen asleep in my bed. i'm not certain that he's, he mentions girls, i said he was straight, or even questioning, but despite what he is, he's not playing a fair game. anyone in this community, hopefully, can understand the inner turmoil this brings about. i don't know what to do. do i risk ruining a friendship on the premis of needing to 'find out' by making a move or do i suffer never knowing? i say suffer, which suggests something awful, but the truth is this; he's my best friend, only person in the world i'd take a bullet for. despite the crush, i this boy dearly, with sincerety, not lust. so i'm in a pickle. where do i draw the line? what're appropriate means for dealing with this situation? i feel miserable, and i guess i'm looking for some solace. anyone here ever experience a similar situation? anyone who has have any suggestions for dealing with this appropriately? the bottom line is i don't want to damage a friendship, and friendship aside, i'm contractually obligated to live with this boy until november because of our 'm conflicted. any bbw want some nsa fun
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