Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array pussy finder in DhaundyerAre you ready for me??? I'm and I work 2 jobs in with no I think I'm attractive but that's not up to me to decide lol ne ways I'm just ready for love so I gave this a try if u can't keep my attention or just want sex. I'm probably not the girl your looking for but me the subject cud be zodiac sign or favorite food then we could talk more open to Tolleson Arizona for a lady granny swinger
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I wonder just which programs be cut; certainly not the farm subsidies to the Agribusiness corporations. That would be a good start, but not nearly enough to pay for both the rebuilding of New Orleand AND the in. is the single thing most responsible for driving our economy down, and running us into bankruptcy; stop the payment of 2+ billion dollars PER DAY for, and we'd have lots left to rebuild our own country. Corriganville Maryland sex chatnasty truth. He also learn what is right and what is wrong, if you do what is right. Someday, he even tell you so. Until then, GoneGray is correct, let it go. Your anger/frustration with the situation is not helping you or your (and I know, it is easier said than done, trust me, I know). Get on with rtaising your to be a mature and productive member of society. At his wedding, no one care about who owns the car the X mother-in-law is driving. dating online singles
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