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22yr old love older woman for holding this over your head? 1 year? 5? 10? For making you doubt yourself? You don't believe you were terrible. I don't think so either, because you and he are still together. If you were that god-awful, he'd have been gone ago. He's not going to forgive, because its workin' for him. Look at how contrite you are. It really LOOKS (to me) like you are being manipulated. Kept off balance as a way to be controlled. How you live like this? need a woman s touch immediately
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